Looking to check out of society? Now's your chance: "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski's 1.4 acre Montana hideaway is for sale, and it looks gorgeous! The broker offers a huge selling point, too — "A lot of history goes with this location."

Montana resident David Sicotte pleaded not guilty to hitting his pregnant sister in the mouth with "a large wrench" at her wedding reception. Before that, he'd "pushed his sister's new mother-in-law to the ground and started fighting with the groom."

Apparently bears are just like little kids: They hate zucchini! When a small-ish 200-pound black bear attacked a Missoula-area woman's collie, she got its attention, was clawed in the leg, and then threw a zucchini, causing the bear to flee.

For his 114th birthday, Montana's Walter Breuning—the world's oldest man—was visited by the governor, reporters, and representatives from the Masonic, Shrine and Scottish Rite groups. Holy shit, the Masons? This must be some kind of longevity conspiracy! [NYDN]

Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officials say they have killed a black bear sow for violating the agency's three strikes policy after it killed chickens and knocked over trash cans near Helena. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. [AP]

The Montana Republican party recently adopted an official platform. Whoops, look at that: A 12-year-old commitment to making homosexuality illegal slipped in there. As far as Montana Republicans are concerned, being gay should be a crime.

Marek Rosin is the latest victim of what Montana authorities believe is a lone black bear that breaks into homes and raids freezers looking for food. Rosin found the bear in his kitchen eating a frozen pizza at 1:30 am.

Earlier in the week, a mama grizzly bear and three cubs attacked hikers in Montana, killing one of them. Yesterday the mother was euthanized, and the cubs are being shipped off to ZooMontana to join its grizzly exhibit. [Billings Gazette]

The Helena, Montana school board got an earful yesterday about proposed changes to its sex education program, including—gasp!—telling children that gay people exist. Naturally, Bill O'Reilly and Gretchen Carlson will have NONE OF THAT. The facepalm-inducing video, inside.

Today, a strong tornado ripped through Billings, Montana, leaving several destroyed buildings in its wake. In this amateur video, we get an up close and personal look at the storm as it makes its way through Billings' MetraPark entertainment center.

Police in Billings, Montana, are looking for two young men suspected of attacking medical marijuana dispensaries with molotov cocktails and spray painting "NOT IN OUR TOWN" on the walls. Clinic owners say they won't be intimidated by these thugs. [AP]

Officials in Hardin, Montana have finally come to their senses and canceled their shady deal with the fraudulent American Police Force, which was set to take over the city's jail. The lawless, wild west prevails! [AP]

As long as college kids remain edgy, there will be college sex magazines. And as long as there are a few olds with no sense of mockery, they will be scandalized by them. Still!

How did invited guests from the Bay Area for the Newsom-Siebel wedding make it to tiny Stevensville, Montana on a budget and at the last minute? On a private jet from Google, of course. But not the Boeing 767 with the king-sized bed that you've all come to know and love — it was a slightly smaller 757 that revellers boarded at Moffett field. Besides the regular seats, there were reclining thrones and couches mounted along the side of the plane. Larry Page deigned to join the hoi polloi with his paramour Lucy Southworth on the flight back to California. "So warm, lovely and friendly," said our source of the sweet pair with their Hollywood dentistry. (Photo by Cubbie_n_Vegas)