In order to draw attention to the brutal treatment of Guantanamo Bay prisoners, Yasiin Bey—the rapper and actor formerly known as Mos Def—voluntarily underwent Gitmo's standard (and incredibly painful) procedure for force-feeding detainees on hunger strike via nasogastric tubes. Warning: The video above is graphic and disturbing.

Yasiin Bey, Muhammad Ali, artful calligraphy, gorgeous cinematography. Add them all together and what do you get? Just another fucking Louis Vuitton ad.

I bet the whole first half of this ad isn't even Tom Brady's feet. I bet he was like "Look, I'll do your UGG ad for a billion dollars but no way am I actually putting a pair of UGGs on my feet, even though I am the world's biggest metrosexual. That's not even manly enough for me, and look at my haircut." Also Mos Def changed his name immediately after doing the soundtrack to this ad, for obvious reasons.

Letters to the Editor: they're fun. But the New York Observer doesn't run many of them online! If they did, people would know how unhappy Mos Def is with the New York Observer. But the voice of the people...

Senator and former presidential candidate John Kerry turns 66 today. Actress, comedian and TV host Mo'Nique is turning 42. Jermaine Jackson is 55. Motley Crew's Nikki Sixx is 51. Montana Senator Max Baucus turns 68 today. Mos Def is turning 36. One-time reality TV star Lisa Gastineau is 50. Bay boy Brit chef Marco Pierre White is 48. And '80s actresses Teri Garr and Donna Mills are turning 65 and 67, respectively. A handful of weekend birthdays are below.

• Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo may have cancelled their first wedding at the last minute back in August, but it looks like the second time is the charm: The couple is reportedly getting hitched later today in a "top-secret, ultra-private" ceremony at his house in Greenwich. [NYP]
• Kanye West is supposedly thinking of moving to London next year to pursue his fashion career. [Mirror]
• Graydon Carter says he personally handles seating arrangements at the Waverly Inn. Oh, and his "three buzz words" for 2009 are "sophisticated, innovative and entitlement." [P6]
• Tragic news: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony just spent their first weekend apart since the birth of their twins. [Us]

Remember John Kerry? Apparently he ran for president in 2004 or something. Anyway, he's celebrating his 65th today. Mos Def is turning 35. Faded '80s actresses Teri Garr and Donna Mills are 64 and 66, respectively. British chef Marco Pierre White is 47. Motley Crew bassist Nikki Sixx is turning 50. And Jermaine Jackson is 54.

♦ Now that she doesn't have Guy Ritchie to boss around, Madonna is finding more time to control everyone else: She's supposedly been "begging" Gwyneth Paltrow to leave her London home so they can spend more time together in New York. She's also busy orchestrating a reunion between Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears: All three will be performing together at Madge's concert in LA tonight. [The Sun, E!]
♦ Padma Lakshmi is apparently on a "man-search" for a filthy rich boyfriend now that her flings with Ted Forstmann and Russell Simmons are over. [P6]
♦ Now that the election is over, Tina Fey says she will be officially retiring her Sarah Palin impression. [Extra]

• George Clooney's ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson may have cheated on the actor when she had a "weekend fling" with a "media mogul," although it appears she's paying for her crime since her new boyfriend is a lowly nightlife promoter named Joey Vanas. [P6]

Mos Def is a rapper, actor and enthusiastic member of the Muslim faith. He's also a homophobe, genius, anti-Semite, or deadbeat dad, depending on whom you talk to. And don't call him Mos Def anymore: it's Yasiin Bey now.