The Arrested Development screenplay is officially in the works. And it better be good.

The Disney-owned production house named after founders Bob and Harvey Weinsteins' parents, Miramax, is—like Bob and Harvey's current shop—facing tough times. But while The Weinstein Company struggles for air, Miramax is being choked out by its corporate parents.

Woody Harrelson recently took some time from banging his bongos to make a big Hollywood movie. It's called Zombieland and deals with the undead, a solid cinematic device. Should we be worried? Yes. But what of the soul's role?

As you all know, we've just concluded the opening weekend of Tucker Max's film debut, "Alcohol and Poop Go Together Like Whores and EZ Cheez." How grand a mark has it made on cinema history? Let's go to the scorecards!

So, Michael Moore has been making the media rounds to promote his latest project, Capitalism: A Love Story. The film, we're sure, will be enlightening, but, as happens with all things Moore, may be overshadowed by the man himself.

Tucker Max did an interview with City Pages in Minneapolis about his movie. He said at least six untrue things:

We've all known this was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier to announce. Patrick Swayze, American actor and icon, has died and, at the tender age of 57, succumbed to pancreatic cancer.

Americans are, sadly, a dream deferred. We pretend that we're the next generation of human social evolution, but, really, we're not. That's why we're arguing and griping over a movie about evolution.

Megan Fox was being cute by calling Michael Bay a "Nazi" regarding the Transformers 2 shoot. Some Michael Bay crew members wrote a letter about Awful Megan Fox on Michael Bay's site, which has since been censored. Just awesome.

Scientists around the world are in stunned today over the breakthrough in human performance technology made by actress/explorer Jennifer Aniston. Clips released from her new film Love Happens reveals Aniston was able to complete an entire film while comatose.

Much hay has been made over Hollywood's growing reliance on the remake. Creativity is dead, yes, we know, but, more importantly, the silver screen's recycling kick also acts as an endorsement for mediocrity. And it's all your fault!

Campy Jewish Self-Defense Squad to the rescue! Of the news cycle! Where does today's instantly classic New York Post cover of NYC's most self-serious gun-totin' rabbis rank in the canon of Pop Culture Jews With Guns?

The most recent comic book movies have focused on a hero who overcomes obstacles to save the world. Woo. Thankfully, Guy Ritchie's about the change that with Lobo, about a bad ass alien who takes no shit. Good. [Variety]

With Disney's big buy of Marvel, America suddenly finds much of its entire animated universe — from Spider-Man to Pluto — in the hands of one media conglomerate. How many cartoon characters must a company own before the FTC acts?

Heidi Montag wants to be impregnated. Bethenny Frankel wants new friends. And Martha's Vineyard wants to see Chelsea Clinton wear white. Good morning! It's Monday's Gossip Roundup!

It's looking more likely that Warner Bros. Picture Group's president Jeff Robinov's renewing his contract.

Oh look, a student at the University of Florida totally liked Tucker Max's movie. Probably because Tucker has irrefutable photographic evidence that he hooked up with Tim Tebow, right on the football field. A commenter sums up the situation best:

Last night I went and watched the upcoming Tucker Max movie, in full. Here is what I saw, before I erase it from my mind entirely.

It's almost time: time for Tucker fuckin' Max to unleash his movie ["One of the best comedies released over the past generation."—Tucker Max] on the world. You know who thinks this movie is fuckin' awesome? Tucker fuckin' Max.

Like it is barely even about how Barack Obama was secretly born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and is the son of Malcolm X! Most of the movie is just clips of cable news people talking about the election and Obama's first few months in office. But the highlight is surely this all-time classic of unintended consequences: