John Logan, the A-list screenwriter growing so powerful that his agents wrangled him a contract provision stating he'd receive the sole screenplay credit on The Aviator, offers some helpful tips on how to survive the business in the NY Times:
How does Universal keeping wringing box office gold out of movies like Meet the Fockers and Along Came Polly? Hint: It isn't Ben Stiller. The secret ingredient is Uni head Stacey Snider's incredibly developed understanding of the craft of comedy:
· Defamer's white whale, the semifictional Adidas Zissou sneaker from The Life Aquatic, is still not for sale. We will have them! [via witz.org]
· Even Palestinians who've never heard of Richard Gere wish he'd shut the f up.
· It's a miracle that it's taken this long for a viewer to sue Fear Factor. Apparently, rats in a blender is the official threshold for litigation.
· Colin Farrell: Sex with hookers is like ordering a pizza. We don't even want to know what he's into, but the phrase "extra anchovies" is suddenly chilling.
LA Observed has the breakdown of the swag bag that Golden Globes presenters will receive for their thirty seconds or so of drunken slave-labor in front of a hot teleprompter. The damage? $38,390, including a $16K trip to Australia, a $2,700 diamond pendant, and a $900 shawl. Yeah, that's a pretty nice take, even for people who make $38K in the time it takes their assistant to tie their shoes. But given the climate of selflessness that's gripped Hollywood in the wake of the tsunami disaster, we're sure every single presenter is going to donate their goodies to the relief effort. Surely there's a homeless family in Indonesia that can use $540 worth of Kiehl's to rejuvenate their weather-beaten complexions.
· Vince Neil's televised utterance of the f-bomb on the New Year's Eve Leno show may escape fines because the offending expletive was dropped during the indecent speech "safe harbor" of 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., but the FCC should still find a way to punish Neil and the Crüe for coming out of retirement. [THR]
· Comedy Central picks up State alum project Stella for a 10-episode order. Oh, we so wanna dip our balls in it! [THR]
· The freakishly beautiful Natalie Portman, red hot off of Closer, and the Wachowski brothers, ice cold from the Matrix sequels, team up for the graphic novel adaptation, V is for Vendetta. We've said it before, and we'll say it again: We'd pay to watch Portman buttering toast. Really. Please send us videos. [Variety]
· The PGA nominates a little of everything for their awards, picking The Aviator, The Incredibles, Finding Neverland, Sideways, and Million Dollar Baby for the best picture pool. [Variety]
· ABC wins Tuesday night as people flock to watch the blowout football game that bookended the latest Ashlee Simpson meltdown. [THR]
Say what you will about director Joel Schumacher's Phantom of the Opera (we have a feeling these comments mostly fall in the "flop" or "sucks" veins), but it could've been far, far worse. An operative tips us to a flight of casting fancy that might've killed off the musical movie-adaptation genre forever:
A little chart in which top-ranked Best Picture Oscar contenders are cross-referenced with most recent "stock" sale price at Intrade, cross-referenced by number of screens on which the film will play on December 31st, 2004 (as per Box Office Mojo). The number in parentheses after the movie title represents Entertainment Weekly writer Dave Karger's ranking for inclusion in the Best Picture race, because he's both pretty and stupid, just the way we like our men. His number 5 choice, Eternal Sunshine, didn't make our list because we'll eat Dave's sweaty shirt if it makes the Academy's.
We were just crunching some Academy Awards prediction numbers, but little did we know, our research is irrelevant. According to a mega fanboy, it's all about Dawn of the Dead:
· Blockbuster Video pressures rival Hollywood Video to sell, saying it's in the best interest of their shareholders. But is it in our best interest? Don't we deserve, nay, require, two video store chains to go between so as to constantly dodge our late fees? [THR]
· Restored Eisenstein classic The Battleship Potemkin to be screened at the 2005 Berlin International Film Festival. Cinema students from around the world will marvel at the "Odessa Steps" sequence, then promptly flee the theatre before being bored senseless. [THR]
· 267 films are eligible for Oscars this year, leaving Academy members with a lot to ponder. Fear not: crystal meth suppliers are at the ready! [THR]
· Jay Mohr will host Sundance Channel festival wrap up show, Festival Dailies. [Variety,
sub. req'd.]
· Despite the nation's unabated interest in elections, disasters, and Petersons, cable news ratings were down in 2004. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Acting unions likely to end up with same deal as writers and directors, but with more flair and intrigue along the way. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
Intrade, the "stock exchange" which handles everything from weather to elections, has put up its major category Academy Awards odds. The money is heavy on Aviator and Scorsese; Million Dollar Baby is riding its extreme buzz pretty strongly though, and pulling along Eastwood right behind Scorsese. They're totally buying the Jamie Foxx hype, too, which makes us want to give Paul Giamatti a greasy, self-hating hug. And insanely, they've got Leo DiCaprio in third place for Best Actor. Whatever.
No one ever thought the movie would actually survive until Christmas, but Stillborn Before Halloween just didn't have the same ring to it.
The eminently quotable Jack Valenti has given us so much this year: tales of rape-thristy pirates, visions of evil elves, and controversial opinions on cinema. Continuing to give until it hurts, Valenti euthanizes Old Man 2004 and welcomes the New Year's bouncing baby with this memorable ghost story in Esquire's January "What I've Learned" issue, on newsstands now:
· How you can tell we're in the middle of the holiday news draught (besides items on Zellweger's falsies): Variety looks at the video game companies that won't let Hollywood make shitty movies out of Halo and Grand Theft Auto. [Variety, sub. req'.d.]
· Academy members report that many screener discs don't work, or worse, fail in mid-movie. Alexander's awards chances have increased exponentially. [Variety]
· The renegade film critics of San Diego choose abortion over wine, shaking off the Sideways peer pressure to name Vera Drake their film of the year. [THR]
· Comedy Central signs up Jimmy Kimmel sidekick Adam Carolla for his own talk show, which should somewhat dull the sting of losing the Late Late Show to Craig Ferguson. [THR]
· A judge dismisses the conflict-of-interest suit against SAG CEO Bob Pisano for being on the board of Netflix. This decision frees up SAG for the same kind of collective bargaining buggering that the studios recently gave to the DGA and WGA. [THR]
Today's Rush & Molloy column offers some preview items of behind-the-scenes Oscar wackiness from the upcoming book The Big Show: High Times and Dirty Dealings Backstage at the Academy Awards. This Whitney Houston anecdote reveals the chilling conspiracy by Oscar producers to ensure that the awards telecast remains totally devoid of entertainment:
The media may be lauding Kevin Bacon as a hero for his very, very brave [career suicide! why must he always take the dark roles?! tearing of hair and clothes, etc etc] decision to play a child molester in The Woodsman, but the set of a pedophile flick is still a total drag:
If suing copyright-disrespecting scofflaws back into the Betamax era isn't going to solve the problem of movie piracy, the studios (no doubt operating from the MPAA's pamphlet How to Use the Major Media to Get the Public to Feel Our Pain) are going to try a different tactic: spinning tales of poetic justice.
A producer is suing megastars/former Pussy Posse cowboys Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguie for blocking the distribution of a film they did in 1995:
