[Ed.note—We tried to post this from the theater, but apparently it didn't "take". Not that it was so great, but since we pissed off the guy sitting next to us at the screening (did he really have to hold up his hand like the light from our handheld was searing his retinas?), we'd thought we'd repost and update.]

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, former 3rd Rock alien and star of Sundance entries Mysterious Skin and Brick, didn't punch us after sticking a camera-phone in his face, but he did blink. We're grateful there wasn't even a hint of violence, but we're obligated to crow that this round goes to Defamer.

While we were enjoying the splendor of the Salt Lake City airport baggage claim area, Defamer Special Sundance Correspondent James Rocchi of The Rocchi Report files this dispatch about last night's press screening of The Jacket, where there was more drama in the audience than on the screen:

Whispers have it that celebrity photographer/director David LaChapelle got arrested on Main Street last night following the premiere of Rize, his krumping movie (which a friend at the screening described as "awesome"), for drunkenly yelling at a cop and various other inebriated antics. We'll put our ears to the ground and see if we can verify, but the rumors are flying. Hot 5-0 action, developing!

We survived the Southwest flight into a foggy Salt Lake City and are now sitting in a theater waiting for the premiere of Inside Deep Throat. Movie's about to start...we'll have to relate our sighting of Brian Grazer later. But wait, Grazer produced the film and just made some opening remarks not worth mentioning. The hair is spectacular however. [via mobile]

Hey, did we mention that we're going to Sundance? Must've slipped our minds. We'll be landing in Park City this evening, and blogging from deep within the bastard colony that Hollywood establishes once a year in Utah, reporting on all the movies we see, chatter we overhear, and parties that we sneak into. So if you've got some free booze you absolutely, positively need consumed by a blogger who'll spend his entire trip bitching about how his balls have frozen to his leg, give us a jingle. And we'll do our best to deliver a camera-phone picture of Harvey Weinstein choking a first-time director, his breath gently crystallizing in the cold mountain air, demanding he get the rights to the next sex, lies, and videotape for below market value.

"Following his reinstatement, [blind New York detective Jim Dunbar] is assigned to a new precinct where he intends to take on cases with the help of his guide dog, Hank.

With the Golden Globes ceremony boring the world into a state of vegetation, viewers are placed in the unprecedented position of turning to the Oscars for entertainment. First-time host Chris Rock gives the NY Times his best "What pressure?" schtick, tossing off a reference to Janet Jackson's "titty" (we think that's the word he used), promising to swipe an award for Jamie Foxx if he doesn't win, and shrugging off The Aviator's buzz:

A D-list actress best known for her publicity-whoring, red-carpet ubiquity and a flack desperate to generate any kind of buzz for his bottom-feeding clients are a potentially explosive combination. Toss in a minor on-set accident on a movie that no one will see, and now you're playing with a flamethrower at a gas station:

While other media outlets fret over What The Golden Globes Mean For Oscar, we turn to Defamer Special Correspondent Pantheon Zeus to take the temperature of the powerful West Hollywood Gays and sort out the awards show buzz for us. Zeus took some time out from his busy schedule of surfing RateMyRentBoy.com to file this report:

Tucked away in the lower right-hand corner of E!'s home page is a link to this clarification about something said on the red carpet at the Golden Globes: (Look for the image copied here at left.)

We love it when God writes the captions for us.

The Golden Globes after-parties at the Beverly Hills Hilton were overcrowded like a Tokyo subway car, but that didn't stop the crack security staff at the Miramax party from preventing an incursion by an evil impostor:

The size-queens at the Datalounge get down to the dirty business of examining the contents of Owen Wilson's Speedo. Here's a sampling of the careful forensic investigation:

We tried to blog the Golden Globes last night. Really, we did. We plopped down on the sofa with laptop in hand, stiff drink at the ready, and drugs no more than an arm's length away, but then a strange thing happened. About three minutes in, we got bored. Not your run-of-the-mill, syndicated-Friends-rerun-on-in-the-background bored. This was a boredom that burrowed deep into the DNA, completely paralyzing the brain's pleasure centers and erasing memories of what is was ever like to be entertained. We upped the doses of the drugs and booze, trying to self-medicate our way out of this awards show anhedonia. Aren't the Globes where everyone's supposed to get lit up and say all kinds of outrageous stuff?

A reader was so taken aback by something he thought he saw in Owen Wilson's Speedo in this hot tub scene from The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou that he tracked down an Academy screener to get a screen-grab. (If you can't see what we're talking about, look under his right elbow.) Are Wilson and director Wes Anderson trying to stir up a new Loch Ness monster legend with a Boogie Nights-style prosthetic? Real or not, Wilson's going to have no problems finding a date for the Oscars, whether or not he winds up disappointing her at the end of the night.

Match the tagline with the appropriate poster:

Scrubs star Judy Reyes is fed up with Hollywood's tendency to typecast Latinas as domestics, calling it "a phenomenon created by non-Latino people...whose experiences with Latinas are limited to conversations they’ve had with their maids." Hack screenwriters who've inflicted the likes of Maid on Manhattan on the world have been put on notice:

"You know, Paul, with all of these pointy-headed critics raving about our movie, you'd think that someone would've mentioned the overpowering homosexual subtext in a story about two guys with serious issues with women on the loose in wine country. Just a thought. Hey, why am I wearing lipstick?"

· SAG celebrates the actorly arts by recognizing the casts of The Aviator, Sideways, Million Dollar Baby, Finding Neverland, and Ray with their award nominations. [THR]
· Shades of Wooderson? Matthew McConaughey signs on for the Scott Rudin project Failure to Launch, as a thirtysomething guy whose parents fix him up to get him out of their house. [THR]
· What the hell, cast everyone! Danny DeVito, Kim Basinger, Carla Gugino, Nick Cannon, Forest Whitaker, Jay Mohr, Kelsey Grammer, and Ray Liotta sign on (or will soon) for the Mark Rydell-directed indie drama Jump Shot. [Variety, sub req'd.]
· NBC wins Monday night with Medium, despite competition from the premiere of The Bachelorette and a second night of 24 doubleheaders. [THR]
· Bill Condon, now the musical go-to-guy after adapting Chicago, will follow up Kinsey by directing a movie version of the Broadway musical Dreamgirls for DreamWorks. [Variety]