When we spent yesterday introducing you to the "7 MTV-Defining Stars Who Wouldn't Be Allowed on MTV Anymore," little did we know it would cause such a sensation. From far and wide, the Defamer commenters gathered together to trade stories about the network's golden days, suggest improvements that could be made, and shout at kids to get off their damn lawn. Since MTV has made the encouraging step of hiring Russell Brand to host this year's VMAs, we know they're open to self-improvement, so we thought it only fair to spotlight the best suggestions and constructive criticism the Defamer braintrust had to offer:1. Revamp Daria for the Hills crowd: By spotlighting Daria's popular sister Quinn, the show could be retrofitted to attract iconoclasts and super sweet sixteens alike! As commenter Jill Tyrrell said, "They could totally put Daria back in syndication on MTV, and re-name it Quinn or Fashion Club. It'd be like The Hills, in cartoon form! All the LC-Conradettes out there would go crazy for it. 'I love Quinn! She is lyk soooooo awesome! I soooo wanna be in the Fashion Club! But why is that four-eyed lesbo bitch Daria always being to mean to her????'" 2. Hire new casting directors for The Real World: Commenter Antonella fondly recalled that in its early seasons, The Real World "was less about drunken hook ups at celebutard wannabes and more about...well, real people." MTV has proven that ordinary people can still be compelling — just check out the gangly, awkward teens of The Paper — so why does The Real World have to be cast exclusively with musclebound meatheads who can hold a barbell longer than they can hold our interest? 3. Don't Be Bashful About Stoking Nostalgia: VH1 Classic is all well and good, but how about this suggestion from Dave J.: "They should have a 'MTV: Origins' channel or whatever, and only show original programming from back in the day (pre-Real World) and actual music videos from start to finish, and then see how it does ratings wise vs. the actual MTV. It probably wouldn't do as well, but I bet it would do better than Viacom thinks." Dave, anything that might presage a Sifl & Olly revival is OK by us. 4. Leave music video commentary to the professionals: Virtually the only time you're assured of seeing music videos on MTV is during the show FNMTV, which premieres the videos alongside instant viewer feedback sent from MTV.com. While that's all well and good, the peanut gallery isn't likely to provide masterfully crafted insults a la Julie Brown or Beavis & Butthead. Commenter derby reminded us of the amazing special MTV Lame, when a countdown of the network's worst videos ever was hosted by a dream team of comedy including Jon Stewart, Janeane Garofalo, Denis Leary, and Chris Kattan. FNMTV may be interactive, but only on a special like MTV Lame can you see Vanilla Ice menace Jon Stewart with a baseball bat. 5. Begin a Lionel Richie channel: Could it be that MTV had the means to their salvation all along? As floated by crescentia and seconded by 30f, a Lionel Richie channel (with marathon reruns of the music video for "Hello") could be an epic ratings win. Hey, it would at least outdraw Buzzin'.

Click to viewAfter word emerged yesterday that MTV was planning an extreme dieting beauty pageant, we knew it was time to ask ourselves, "Do we still want our MTV?" Many of us grew up in a time where the network was perceived as alternative, cutting-edge, and cool, though it's hard to picture the stars who made it that way getting a foot through the door of the modern-day MTV casting office. Here, then, are seven iconic MTV personalities who would have no place on a network that now fills its programming with multiple iterations of the "spoiled rich girl" reality genre:

Though MTV spent the earlier part of this week teaching men how to emotionally manipulate their girlfriends, it's got plenty of advice to dole out to women, too. Why, just have a gander at the casting call for the network's upcoming entry in the crowded "model reality" genre! In what could be a first for the network, they're looking to cast the show solely with overweight women, but there's a catch: those women will be expected to lose up to 80 pounds in just 12 dangerous weeks. Says ABC News:

While The Hills returned to MTV last night with all the girl-on-girl drama and awkward pauses we've come to know and love, it was the Heidi-and-Spencer subplot that gained most of our attention. Sure, the storyline seemed simple on its face — Heidi's sister comes to stay with the pair, a development that forces Spencer to grit his teeth — but beneath the surface, Spencer's passive aggression was at full blast. With the help of Molly McAleer, we've assembled five moments from last night's episode that best illustrate Spencer's unique approach to controlling the woman in your life. When Heidi's cry for help comes, will we hear it — or it will be buried under ProTools? [MTV]

While The Hills star Audrina Patridge launched an exciting, product placement-filled blog during her summer vacation, costar Heidi Montag has mostly laid low, content to let boyfriend Spencer Pratt soak up the slings and arrows for a few months. Now, with the season four premiere set to air on MTV tonight, Montag has emerged like a gator from the water, opening her fearsome jaw not to chomp on some unlucky water fowl but to let fly the synthesized tones of her brand-new single, "Overdosin'" (excerpted after the jump!). Says Us Weekly:

If the recent VMAs promo made you wonder "Who's the Brit next to Brit-Brit?", then meet Russell Brand. We asked the British funnyman (and Forgetting Sarah Marshall star) to sit down with us in an effort to prove his pop culture bona fides before hosting the VMAs on September 7. Already a famous ladykiller in the U.K., can Brand prove equally charming as the emcee of MTV's biggest event? We solicited his thoughts on Miley Cyrus, Christian Bale, and hermaphrodite presidents in a bid to find out. DEFAMER: Russell, since American audiences are still becoming familiar with you, we wanted to see how familiar you are with the tastes of the American audience. RUSSELL: Right. DEFAMER: So we're going to give you the Defamer American Pop Culture Literacy Test. I'm just going to throw out famous names and you tell me whether you know them and what your take is on each. RUSSELL: OK!

MTV just sent a PR pitch about their new Model Makers show to the wrong person. Socialite-publishing heiress and professional unpaid blogger Emily Brill used to be chubby, slimmed down, and is pissed about the show's message. It does sound annoying—we never thought we'd say this, but we agree with Emily Brill's objections! "Have you always wanted to model but don't know where to start? Maybe you don't know the right people. Maybe you are not thin enough…"

· Today on Feeling Zoila, Jeff Lewis's frittata-serving lifemate reveals what she's learned from her OCD-afflicted boss. We think we can now safely say we know where she got that bad habit of standing on the front lawn in denim short-shorts and shaking her dumps for passing motorists. [Flipping Out] · "I know I've complained about your split-ends before, but hair, thank you for being the only thing on this planet preventing me from totally losing it right now!!!" [Mollygood] · Shia's pinkie is still attached and doing well, said co-star Isabel Lucas, which was more than she could say for Adrian Grenier. [Just Jared, People] · Beefcake week continues here at Defamer with some 19-year-old, shirtless Seacrest. [TMZ] · For the love of God, do not click here. (You have been warned. Don't go complaining that you shouldn't have done it.) [Celebslam] · Inky, Pinky, Sprinkly, and Yum. [shinyshiny.tv]

Feast your eyes now upon those buzzy promo spots for the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards—featuring host Russell "Big in England" Brand, 2007 VMAs catastrophe Britney Spears, and a giant elephant in the room (not white, but you get it). 10 first impressions:1. Britney looks good. 2. Britney isn't chewing gum. 3. Britney is relaxed. 4. Britney doesn't appear to be pregnant. 5. Britney is good at covering up signs of fear and/or repulsion. 6. We're amazed she didn't say, "What's a surname?" 7. That hairstyle is atrocious. (You decide which.) 8. We believe she truly has no idea who Brown/Brand is. 9. She notices a passing resemblance to K-Fed at the :39 mark. 10. The elephant appears to be fantasizing about scraping saucy-British-comic out of his toes. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Scene of the Crime: Though Britney Spears probably won't be reprising her woozy, indifferent performance of "Gimme More" at this year's edition of the VMAs, MTV was able to convince the newly (and unprofitably) sane starlet to record a promo poking fun at the 2007 trainwreck. Improvising her way through the ad with VMAs host Russell Brand, the two bantered on without ever mentioning the elephant in the room — in this case, an actual, 9000-pound elephant grazing behind the stars. The scene soon turned ugly when Brit-Brit wrapped the shoot by offering the tempestuous animal some Cheetos and chicken fingers; five PAs and a Real World alum working the catering table were trampled in the ensuing rampage. [Access Hollywood]

Wow, so Paris Hilton just told a San Diego newspaper that "I've created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is [based on] me, and we're doing a cartoon right now with MTV." That would be Stan Lee the co-creator of Spider-Man and X-Men and former president of Marvel Comics. Which begs the question, what will Hilton's comics-esque cartoon be called?? I vote for either The Flash or The Taped Crusader. You? [San Diego Citybeat]

CNN's American Morning has a thing for cheesy rock-and-roll intros, and the Daily Show tonight showcased the most embarrassing among them, including Scorpion's "Rock You Like A Hurricane" for a story on Tropical Storm Bertha or "Changes" by David Bowie for everything from credit cards to reform in China. But the best part comes at the end, when host Jon Stewart reveals how American Morning host John Roberts, once considered heir apparent to Dan Rather at the CBS Evening News, learned to pair pop hits with headlines. Hint: Think Adam Curry. Click the icon for video. UPDATE:

A memorial rummage through the Siskel and Ebert At the Movies archives over the weekend turned up a never-before-seen clip making their program's recent dissolution all the more lamentable. To wit, behold the critical duo in their prime, debating the merits of the then fledgling MTV series The Hills. "The movie paints a tragic picture of mindless, aimless, violent and destructive behavior," Ebert notes, nevertheless endorsing the saga as a trenchant read of contemporary youth culture. His late partner Gene Siskel concurred, clearly challenged by the "hyperrealism" of its internecine 20-something Hollywood warfare and Spencer Pratt's complex douchebaggery; in their squirms and haunted eyes, the two bring an emotional resonance likely to stop miles short of new At the Movies hosts Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz. And so what if Siskel and Ebert's insights sound suspiciously like those from their 1995 review of Kids? Greatness makes its own coincidence. [Songs About Buildings and Food via Fimoculous]

Last month MTV announced that it would finally start accepting political ads in order to better engage the youth of our nation in the political process and also because Barack Obama has a huge multimillion-dollar ad account that's not gonna spend itself. But look, the crafty right wing is getting out ahead of the curve here! Because the first political ad ever is now running on MTV, and it is against Barack Obama! Unfortunately it is incredibly trite and may have been assembled by a middle school child with rudimentary video-editing software and a YouTube account. Watch it after the jump and join the McCain revolution! Don't be a stereotypical youth in bed with Two-Way Barack:

As we briefly touched upon a post or so ago, MTV has announced they'll be producing a remake of midnight movie classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which struck us as a slightly less onerous addition to our ever-growing End of Ideas library. (Perhaps it was the delightful image of a whole new generation of Rocky disciples chanting, "Lips! Lips! Lips!" in anticipation of Audrina Patridge's ladyparts' soulful rendition of "Science Fiction, Double Feature" that did it.) Variety has the details:

MTV has bought the pilot for a TV show from the gentlemen behind CollegeHumor.com. The deal is for six episodes, scheduled to air this fall, we hear. No word yet on exactly what the content will be, how much MTV paid, or what role supermogul and College Humor owner Barry Diller may have played in making the deal happen. But needless to say, it will add a much-needed dose of humorous frat-boy hijinks to MTV's current schedule of sober public affairs programming. [UPDATE: We hear the show will consist of comedy shorts, wrapped in a storyline, set in the CH office]. (Pictured: CH co-founder Ricky Van Veen)

MTV is continuing its push into digital music, despite its long litany of failures in the past, by introducing a music recommendation service and social network called Soundtrack. Most of the song recommendations will be based off of MTV's list of shows such as The Hills, Shot at Love, and G's to Gents. RealNetworks' Rhapsody, which recently dropped copyright protections on its music files, will help MTV sell those songs, as well — though a tipster reports Rhapsody been having customer service and outage issues for weeks.

Touchy Viacom flack Jeremy Zweig called Valleywag up to let us know personally that we'd been disinvited from next week's press-only screening of Tropic Thunder. Such a pity! Because we had a list of questions we were going to ask Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman:

Right on the heels of Mary-Kate Olsen's passive aggressive jabs at ex-classmate and David Letterman punching bag Spencer Pratt last night, the professional Hollywood sleazeball has promptly retaliated by releasing a few downright cruel and unoriginal insults to Us today. As Pratt tells the weekly:

What has turned into one of the highest-rated Real World seasons in years has also proven to be the most debaucherous. In previous seasons, we've seen more than our fair share of alcoholics, sexists and good girls gone bad, but the current 20th season cast has every problem child type all living together in one (environmentally friendly!) abode. Just rounding the halfway mark, the show has already kicked out two roommates: charismatic online audition winner Greg was given the heave-ho weeks ago, and naive little bully Joey left for drug treatment after admitting he was a daily cocaine and ecstasy user. And finally, the bratty and conservative Sarah succumbed to the tried-and-true Good Girl Drenches Hollywood In Vomit And Venom plot line, brilliantly set to Jim Morrison’s angst-ridden shouts and ending with an adorably retro Charles Barkley reference.