A new MTV cartoon depicting black women squatting on all fours tethered to leashes and defecating on the floor is drawing fire from several prominent African Americans who call the episode degrading. [...]
Macauley Culkin will star with Eliza Dushku in the dark comedy Sex and
Breakfast, which will attempt to coax edgy laughter from the disconnect of watching the Home Alone kid engage in group sex. [Variety]
Be prepared to excuse yourselves for some alone time after getting all worked up by these two sexy trade paper stories about multimedia conglomerate profit reports. [THR, THR ]
Seeking new and exciting ways of delivering episodes of The Hills to a cherished demographic, MTV is buying Y2M, the nation's largest network of online college newspapers. [Variety]
Sony and MGM move ahead with their Pink Panther sequel by hiring a writing team of "newcomers" whose work will eventually be undone by scores of uncredited rewrites. [THR]
Conservative CBS eschews the willy-nilly fall TV season premiere strategy of its crazy whippsnapper competitors, and will instead roll out new episodes of its various series in a single week. [Variety]
• Kanye West named to Vanity Fair's best-dressed list. He would have been on the cover, but they did Beyonce back in October, and, you know, that fulfills the quota. [MTV]
• 25-year-old MTV is actually perpetually eleven, says Virginia Heffernan. Eleven, coincidentally, was Heffernan's approximate age when the network debuted. [NYT]
• This is officially the 1,000th article about TMZ. [MSNBC]
• Famous words from the world's best children's entertainer, who has now been sacked from PBS for once appearing in an abstinence parody wherein she said the following: "I've got big plans for my future: a good college, a career, maybe even my own business someday. But one thing I'm not planning on is getting pregnant. That's why I choose anal sex. I mean sure, it hurts a little, and I wind up walking funny for a day or two. But I think my future's worth it." [Salon]
• Scarlett Johansson signs a multi-year deal with Reebok to develop some sort of inevitably pink-hued clothing line called "Scarlett Hearts Rbk." Way to throw all of your hard work down the drain, missy. [Brandweek]
• Get Tabloid Wars — and Greg Gittrich — free on iTunes! [iTunes]
• Usefulness aside, we're getting a little sick of the 17 different star systems New York mag uses for their restaurant reviews. [Eater]
• Today in the world of inexplicable shit: Yvette Clarke has hired Ronn [sic] Torossian to help with her congressional campaign. [Daily Politics]
• OMG, so, like, Nick Lachey is totes gonna be on TRL tomorrow. We can't wait to watch Vanessa Minnillo go down on him in front of a live studio audience! [ONTD]
The interns for the Rolling Stone/MTV reality show (can we please get a name for that thing already?) are doing more than just sweating it out at Coney Island and mugging for the camera — they're learning about "reporting" as well. Some might even call it real writing! On RS' website, the Live Shows index features tons of blurby reviews, many of which are written by MTV's would-be journos. A review of Denmark's Roskilde Festival (can't wait for that wild-n-crazy episode) is written by Krishtine de Leon, Pete Maiden, Tika Milan, Russell Morse, Krystal Simpson and Colin Stutz — we already know Russell Morse is on the show, and Krystal Simpson is probably the real name of faux-Sienna Krys Jagger (there, there, it's okay: we're just as upset as you to learn that she's not actually rock royalty). Krishtine and Pete are rumored to be cast members, and a quick Google confirms that Tika is also part of the show. If Colin Stutz is also one of Jann's precious coterie, then that would account for all 6 interns.
The Village Voice held its annual Siren Fest in the midst of Saturday's ghastly heat, sending hipsters and freeloaders alike to Coney Island for five-plus hours of melanoma-stoking sunshine. As Siren is a major music event 'round these parts, Rolling Stone and MTV would certainly be remiss if they didn't send their latest batch of ratings slaves to the show; above, contestants from the RS/MTV reality show learn about the tough world of music journalism and boom mics. Not quite sure who's who except for the token hottie-with-a-Sienna-complex Krys Jagger — though names don't really matter. They're all the same menial flashes in Jann Wenner's pan, dutifully serving themselves up for oblivion. (But seriously, do you think the blonde one hooked up with the lead singer of the Stills?)
Thanks to those pesky non-disclosure agreements, not a lot of information is coming out of the Wenner Media offices, where MTV is currently filming the Rolling Stone reality show. But there are some details dribbling from Jann's tightly clenched fist: there are only six contestants, and three of them are absolutely hopeless, clearly cast as the proverbial "stupids" necessary for any successful reality competition. There's also one clear front-runner, a fellow talented enough that he has no business on a show designed for special-needs journos.
We're not even going to pretend we've been keeping up with The Real World, having lost touch with the grandaddy of all drunken, jacuzzi-based documentary social experiments somewhere around New Orleans. Apparently, the current season is set in Key West, and cast member Paula Meronek (according to official materials, she's "a corporate slave by day, but makes up for it by partying relentlessly at night," and "still connected to her abusive ex-boyfriend." Fun!) has been arrested for allegedly having "bit her boyfriend several times when he refused to let her into their home early Sunday morning." The optimist in us can't help but feel that Meronek's cannibalistic crime suggests a baby step towards overcoming her anorexia, while Bunim/Murray productions must be at least partially thrilled to know that their aging, flagship series still carries enough weight to get the psychotic antics of their crazy bitch stars coverage on the national stage.
We mentioned last week that in honor of the MTV camera crews, the front desk at Wenner Media had been emblazoned with a Rolling Stone logo, despite the fact that Us Weekly and Men's Journal both work in that very space. Now, some visual proof and a reminder to the editors of those other, lesser magazines: you really need to put down those drafts and get to work. The Rolling Stone assistants need their coffee.
A handful of desperately nervous geniuses are getting little sleep these days; they're the "chosen ones," the not-necessarily-bright young things selected to compete on a MTV reality show for a Rolling Stone internship. It's practically identical to MTV's earlier magazine internship reality competition, Miss Seventeen, only with a barely perceptible recast of the lead editorial megalomaniac. Thus it'd be wise for the geniuses on the latest show to take a lesson from Miss Seventeen contestant Brianne Burrowes, who quit the show after three episodes, blubbering that she didn't want "to be affiliated with a house of liars." Harsh, but that blow was considerably softened by Burrowes' other quotables: "Atoosa is, like, who I want to be"; another contestant noted that for Burrowes, meeting Rubenstein was "like meeting Jesus." Clearly, Rubenstein would be a selfless fool to let these comments go unheeded — even though Burrowes didn't win the MTV competition, she still scored a summer internship after taping was completed.
• The Village Voice's new EIC Erik Wemple changes his mind, quitting the gig before he had technically started. Not surprisingly, the New Times has fucked things beyond repair.
• Britney Spears assures Matt Lauer and the world that she's just as pathetic as we all suspected, if not worse. (YouTube then slaps us and takes away our video.)
• Finally, Page Six finds someone to accept their job offer, it's just not who you'd expect: Post City desker Bill Hoffman.
• Hour Media buys Absolute; the mag's audience of rich people shrug, go about with their usual, rich-people lives.
• Rite-Aid removes Shock from its newsstands, arguing that the magazine clashed with the drugstore's Danielle Steel selection.
• MTV begins filming its reality show in the offices of Rolling Stone; Men's Journal and Us Weekly staffs are promptly forgotten.
• Rocco DiSpirito refuses to disappear.
• Now that Ellen Barkin has removed her balcony's privacy fence, neighbors are easily treated to a night of watching her kids drink bongwater.
• AMI plans to sell off five of its lackluster titles, if only so the company can afford Bonnie Fuller's driver.
• Beyonce graces the cover of Spin, and it's overwhelmingly clear why Andy Pemberton was sacked.
• Hell has a zipcode, and it's 02138.
• Nothing's the same, not even the simple things.
The interns are coming, the interns are coming! The poor bastards selected by MTV to compete for a Rolling Stone internship arrive at Wenner Media today, bringing with them some camera-ready, wide-eyed naivete and obnoxious behavior. Please, please someone tell us what they're wearing. And what they say. And what they do. And whether or not they make a mess on their desks.
Thanks to all sorts of non-disclosure agreements, we can't confirm much of anything, but the two youngsters pictured above may be 2 of the aspiring journalists starring in Rolling Stone's reality show for MTV. The young lady is Krys Jagger, a young 20-something from Monterey, California who's written for various papers in the area and, best as we can tell, aspires to dress like Sienna Miller. The fellow is 25-year-old Russell Morse from San Francisco, who describes himself as a "dirtbag journalist" and enjoys posting pictures from Columbine on his MySpace page. If they are, in fact, on the show (and, as always, we could be painfully wrong), they should be arriving at the Wenner offices later this week. Try and make them feel welcome — they've got a rough gig ahead of them as Jann's vanity slaves.
I'd like to thank Chris Nolan, who directed Batman Begins. I want to thank him for getting rid of those bloody nipples, and for giving the Dark Knight back some dignity...
Best summer ever? Certainly around the Wenner Media offices, where MTV will be shooting Jann's Adventures in Reality Television, in which Rolling Stone will be presented as a quasi-relevent and hip publication. The cameras may be following around a handful of foolish young'uns competing for the world's most depressing internship, but there's a rising star out there for everyone to catch. Put on your sluttiest outfits, staffers, 'cause filming starts Monday!
Calling all people who'll audition for just about anything:
At Teen Vogue, an internship opportunity means more than a summer starvation diet. It's a chance to build genuine, lasting friendships:
• For you alarmists out there who believe in the myth of forthcoming environmental disasters, enjoy a map of what Manhattan would look like if the sea levels were to rise a healthy 9 meters. Au revoir, Alphabet City. [Flood.firetree.net]
• Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's engagement enters the completely unfounded and highly unlikely rumor phase. [Patrique Gossip]
• New York's highest court denies Diddy's appeal, ordering him to pay over $19K/month in child support to ex-girlfriend Misa Hylton-Brim. That should just about cover the mental anguish of having to see him naked. [AP]
• And while Diddy may have to shell out more pennies than he'd like, at least he's still allowed to devote an entire Time 100 table to his formidable posse. [FishbowlNY]
• Axl Rose swears that Chinese Democracy will be out by the end of this century. Really, he means it this time. [Billboard]
• Lindsay Lohan appeared on TRL yesterday, but wouldn't talk to Vanessa Minnillo until their mutual flack Leslie Sloane Zelnick hammered out a 2-minute peace treaty. [Jossip]
• Barbara Walters is supposedly angry with Meredith Vieira for leaving The View. If she left us with Rosie O'Donnell, we'd be pissed, too. [TMZ]
• And finally, THE ELLIES ARE TONIGHT! WHEE! Check back here later for our breaking updates, sent lovingly from the scene of Magville's debutante ball.
The Sony lot wasn't the only entertainment industry outpost under siege by a sky-darkening plague of killer bees last week. A copy of an e-mail memo just obtained by Defamer details a warning issued to MTV's staff last Wednesday (a day before the Sony swarm, incidentally) in hopes of avoiding any allergy-related loss of employees:
