One of my coworkers who, to be honest, I find to be rather annoying, recently began growing what can only be referred to as a Hitler mustache. I am afraid he doesn't realize it as such, and that no one else at work will be willing to tell him. I don't know for sure how many friends he has outside of work.

For all of humanity's greatness—the pyramids, the Hoover Dam, our capacity to love—human beings have proven ourselves quite capable of doing truly disgusting things, also, including waging wars, acting upon greed, and wearing those godforsaken toe shoes. In an effort to build a more just, rational, and aesthetically pleasing future, here is a list of 22 things Gawker is banning in 2013. At the stroke of midnight on December 31, be sure to either immediately stop doing the actions listed here, or, if it's an object that's being banned, a toe shoe, perhaps, incinerate it in a trash can. The civilized world thanks you!

We're asking because we really loved Cloud Atlas and don't remember John Travolta being in the book. [Cloud Atlas]

Today is Brian Moylan's last day here at Gawker. Brian is on to bigger and better things and though we will miss him dearly, we know he and his mustache will continue to rile up the Internet from wherever they go.

We're asking as friends. [WWTDD]

Today is December 1. Do you know what that means? Oh, yeah World AIDS Day. That's great, but that's not what makes today awesome. Today marks the end of Movember, when all the jerks and mustache-come-latelys shave their upper lips. Thank the mustache gods.

Former congressman Anthony Weiner resigned in disgrace earlier this year for sending pictures of his erect dong to various strangers on Twitter. Now, months later, attempting to rebuild his life with his pregnant wife, State Department aide Huma Abedin, he has settled on the exact worst strategy to look like a normal guy who would never even consider sending dick pics to women: growing a wispy moustache. (We understand that it's probably for "Movember," the prostate cancer-awareness event. Even so.) [images via Pacific Coast News]

To help New York pass a bill allowing same-sex marriage, we here at Gawker are throwing a fundraiser/party. It's going to be a big, exciting bash, and now the stakes are higher than ever!

Everyone loves a good mustache joke, and in honor of her first guest of the day, Ellen gave her audience stick-on mustaches. The weird thing was, Tom Selleck never acknowledged this fact. Did he even notice?

James Franco and his mustache appeared on Live with Regis and Kelly this morning. Regis ventured into dangerous territory when he suggested James trim his mustache. James also promised to sing at the Oscars. James Franco can do no wrong.

Who is the biggest mo among the Washington, D.C. diplomatic corps? I mean, sorry, who has the biggest mo? To find out, just read this New York Times article, "The Biggest 'Mo' on Embassy Row." No, no, "mo" means mustache.

Tom Selleck told Dave and his Late Show audience all that he knows about cultivating avocados, which isn't much for a guy with so many damn avocado trees on his ranch property. It's all about romance, he says.

This video provides a service to all of the little tykes wondering what the hair under their father's nose is. Jonah Hill and Elmo talk about mustaches and all of the neat-o things you can do with one, inside.

Why does the male Mexican molly fish have an 'extravagant moustache-like structure' on its top lip? German and American scientists may have discovered the answer: Because female fish dig it. For oral sex.

America's greatest controversy right this minute: Why is Michael Jordan wearing a Hitler mustache in Hanes ads? Is it because Hanes is crap, and Michael Jordan is an asshole? Makes sense, if you think about it. Carry on. [Adfreak]

Conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart explained his "irony mustache" today. This is like an "ironic mustache," except for old people. Listen to Breitbart and MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan re-enact a conversation that was had 100,000 times in early-00s Williamsburg dive bars.

The American Mustache Institute is calling for the Mustached American Tax Incentive to help defray the costs of mustache maintenance, since mustached Americans improve American good looks and stimulate the economy. Sounds about right, actually.

Do you need a mustache hat? Here, here are directions for making a mustache hat.

Did you know that November is Prostate Awareness Month? It is! The best way to raise awareness for prostate cancer? Growing mustaches and nonsensical advertisements, of course!