Nobody would bat an eye if U.S. Vice President Joe Biden went missing for more than a week. We'd all assume he was on an epic ayahuasca trip and he'd be back when he got it out of his system. But when Chinese Vice President Xi Jinping goes missing, people freak out. He's presumed to be the next leader of China, slated to take over as chief of the Communist Party in just a few weeks. But he hasn't been seen in public or heard from since September 1st. *ominous music*

A couple in Devon, England found something way more (or, arguably, slightly less) valuable than a Kennedy half-dollar while poking around under their living room sofa recently: a 33-ft deep medieval well, filled with old peasant weapons and, most likely, magic and a passageway to times unknown.

British people whose only friends are birds are freaking out this summer, as hundreds of their cherished pets are disappearing somewhere over England and no one can figure out what is happening to them or how to make friends with a human.

Did you leave some poo on the subway this morning?

On the advice of a friend, Utah's mysterious "Goat Man" has revealed that he is not just another guy wandering the mountains dressed as a goat — he's actually a hunter testing the efficacy of his goat-themed hunting disguise.

Setting sail 75 years to the day Amelia Earhart and her navigator Fred Noonan disappeared over the South Pacific, and returning three weeks later on Earhart's 115th birthday, members of The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery had hoped to bring back an answer to one of the 20th century's most enduring mysteries.

Redditor delverofsecrets sets the scene:

Seriously, do you know? He's been missing since June. We mentioned last week that he's probably in rehab (also that he's a callow scion who owes everything to the circumstances of his birth, something a lot of you disagreed with!), but that his staff and family are still resolutely refusing to tell his constituents what's going on. His father vigorously denied a report that he'd attempted suicide, insisting that he's just "regaining his strength." An anonymous friend told a Chicago radio station that "he doesn't get a lot of sleep and he has sleep disorders." What do you think? Drugs? Suicide? Chronic illness he wants to keep secret?

Well that didn't take very long: Police in Berlin have solved the mystery of the so-called "Forest Boy" just days after releasing a photo of his face to the public.

At long last, Americans can finally do their part to help out the Confederacy, or, anyway, the Museum of the Confederacy.

For the first time since he arrived in Berlin last September claiming he had been living in the woods with his father for five years but doesn't remember anything else, the mysterious "Forest Boy" has allowed police to release a photo of his face in the hopes that someone will come forward and provide new insight into his identity.

E! News reported Wednesday evening that recently-engaged youth Miley Cyrus will release an album before her wedding to fiancé Liam Hemsworth, who has one of the greatest Wikipedia page pictures it will ever be your pleasure to see.

We all held our breath on Wednesday when an anti-freckle cream jar was discovered on Nikumaroro Island in the Pacific. This seemed to support the leading theory by The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery (TIGHAR) that Amelia Earhart landed on a coral atoll near the island, and survived — at least for a bit.

A scarf-sporting pot-bellied pig held up drivers on the Parkway West outside Pittsburgh yesterday as it gave state troopers the run-around for a half-hour before escaping into the woods.

Page Six reported Wednesday that America's weird young spinster aunt Mary-Kate Olsen, 25, is now dating Oliver (né Olivier) Sarkozy, 42, the half-brother of former French President Nicolas Sarkozy. According to the Post, the two were spotted in the Hamptons over Memorial Day weekend (presumably together, or this ain't much of a story), and have been dating for about a month.

It looks like there is yet another lead in the 1979 disappearance of Etan Patz: New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly announced today that NYPD detectives had obtained an incriminating statement from a new suspect.

The Internet sure seems to think so.

180 bales of marijuana were found floating in the waters near Dana Point, California, this past Sunday, stumping Border Patrol, the Coast Guard, and local authorities looking to identify their source.

A 43-year-old woman in California suffered third-degree burns last Saturday after two rocks she'd collected at the beach SPONTANEOUSLY EXPLODED while she was standing in her kitchen, causing her shorts to catch fire. (The rocks were in her pocket).

Mississippi police are warning people to call the cops if a cop tries to pull them over, following two incidents in which motorists were shot while driving down rural highways in the early-morning hours.