Barney Frank has long been described as the Democrat's most witty lawmaker, but that may soon change, because Alan Grayson's on an amusingly incendiary roll. He learns quick, yes, but could it bite him in the ass?

America's having rage issues these days. Celebrities, politicians and athletes are acting like jackasses. Promising young women are getting murdered. All in one one week. And it makes Nancy Pelosi cry. But that only stokes the anger. Ryan Seacrest, help!

Chuck Boustany must be pissed! He gave the official GOP rebuttal of Obama's speech, but it's mad heckler, Rep. Joe Wilson, who's getting all the attention. Oh well. Let's learn more about Joe, a histrionic right-winger who loves racists!

David Hedrick, an injured veteran who opposes health care reform, appeared on Sean Hannity's show to gripe about being equated with Hitler's "brown-shirts." Then, because the country has gone all hyperbolic, he equates the Obama Administration with Nazis.

In solidarity with the suffering American people, Nancy Pelosi has graciously agreed to limit her taxpayer-financed private jet fix to four brand-new aircraft totaling $220 million, as opposed to the $500 million worth of new jets she so richly deserved.

Seemingly unfazed by the advertisers fleeing from his show over his inflammatory hate speech, Glenn Beck tonight played out a dumb skit where he imagined himself drinking with Nancy Pelosi, whose wine he spiked with poison.

Glenn Beck, Fox News' resident Barnumesque dildo, was a guest on The View today, and, predictably, things became contentious on set, even more so because of a bullshit story about an encounter with Whoopi and Babs that Beck recently peddled on his radio show, so Whoopi went off on him.

Newt Gingrich was on the Daily Show last night promoting a book he wrote with his daughter, 5 Principles for a Successful Life, where he essentially called on Nancy Pelosi to resign as House Speaker.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi essentially said today that she is the victim of a CIA information operation directed against the constitutional leadership of the United States. So what else is new?

Because Congressional Republicans aren't recalcitrant enough already, the House Speaker took away smokers' precious havens inside the the U.S. Capitol complex, House side. Truly, all smokers are now instruments of satan, officially.

Fashion Week queen bee Fern Mallis turns 61 today. The legendary Diana Ross turns 65. Nancy Pelosi is 69. Keira Knightley is celebrating her 24th. Steven Tyler is 61. Curtis Sliwa turns 55. Michael Imperioli is 43. Journalist Bob Woodward turns 66. Author Erica Jong is 67. Martin Short is 59. James Caan is turning 69. Amy Smart is 33. Jennifer Grey is 49. Leeza Gibbons turns 52. Kenny Chesney is turning 41. NBC's Chris Hansen turns 50. Hedge fund manager William von Mueffling is 41. And Elaine Chao, the former Labor Secretary and current sister-in-law of Bruce Wasserstein, is 56 today.

The Telegraph, a conservative British paper with marginally more class than The Sun, is very worried about American congresspeople "spamming" the YouTubes and gumming up the pipes.

In your socialist Tuesday media column: Nancy Pelosi helps newspapers (symbolically), Courtney Friel says "OMG," rumors of cheapskatism at Interview, and naptime for Jim Kelly:

These days, ruined neocon actors scrounge for roles while Nancy Pelosi sings hippie drug songs in respected theaters and the liberal media elites run off to Canada to fornicate in public.

• It was clear that Michael Wolff was a bad husband and a bad boss. But now it looks like he's a lousy son, too. Wolff is being sued by his poor 85-year-old mother-in-law for trying to evict her from her one-bedroom apartment so he could sell it and collect a profit. [P6]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday and was charged with assault and making criminal threats. He faces four years in state prison if convicted. [NYP, Us]
• Marc Anthony touched the leg of a woman other than JLo, which means he was either "flirting with danger" or just being nice to a "longtime friend." [Star]
• Just another typical Friday: Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault for punching a fan last year. [Reuters]

[Brad Pitt with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, with whom he was discussing New Orleans' rebuilding efforts; image via AP]

At last night's address by Barack Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wanted America to know she stood behind her president. She stood behind him again, and again, and again. Watch the clip.

The saintly hero-pilot of Flight 1549 has at last looked to cash in on his heroism! Thank goodness. Waiting for Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger to drop this shoe was killing us.

An SEC official called Houston financier Allen Stanford's $8 billion scheme a "fraud of shocking magnitude that has spread its tentacles throughout the world." Last August, Stanford spread his tentacles around House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.