The internet took over House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office, and her Youtube account, and the video evidence (cats! everywhere!) will shock you.

So in light of the inevitable squeeze on cosmetic enhancement spending, how's everyone's favorite diminutive derm Patricia Wexler doing? Just fine, she tells Wowowow: Not only are her patients still coming in for treatments, they "feel it is critical to keep up appearances right now," although some are cheeky enough to ask for discounts, which, just so you know, will certainly not be granted. But, more importantly, Pat is thrilled about Obama's new presidency for the obvious reason: Democrats have more tasteful surgery!

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi loves to talk up her folksy grandmotherhood. But what's her record at raising kids? This much we know: Son Paul Pelosi Jr. is dating a lingerie model. And more:

Times are tight for Web startups: Catalina Girald couldn't afford to hire a model for her fashion site's lingerie collection. So she stripped down to her designer skivvies.

California has always fostered a kind of insane optimism that strikes outsiders as absurd and delusional and actually kind of sick. My favorite symbol of this, when I lived there, was Rent A Wheel, where you could "rent to own" chrome rims for your tires, your job is your credit etc. etc., for an eminently reasonable $200 a month. This was not the sort of business model I could see thriving back East, but there was something weirdly charming about that, and the charm was contagious, and probably enabled some regrettable apparel purchases. Well, today the rest of the country officially caught the contagion; because the nation's financial institutions are suddenly too spooked to lend money to anyone but Hank Paulson, the state of California can't borrow money, and Governor Schwarzenegger is hitting up Hank Paulson to the tune of seven billion dollars. California, much like its citizenry, has one of the worst credit ratings in the nation. It's the double-edged sword of that sunny optimism, which badly needs to be redirected and channeled toward the national interest and perhaps other pursuits like surfing.There is little wonder House Speaker and California congresswoman Nancy Pelosi seemed so immediately convinced, as Wall Street skidded toward apocalypse two weeks ago, that Congress needed to pass a bailout plan like NOW. What is truly sad is that she failed to convince so many of her state's fellow Democrats, most notably the congresswoman from the neighboring district of East Bay, Barbara Lee, to vote for her bailout bill. Barbara Lee wanted the bill to include provisions protecting homeowners from foreclosure. Which makes sense. Just last year Lee's district had the highest price-to-rent ratio in the country: 51. Fifty-one. People were signing up for mortgages when they could have rented for less than a quarter of the price. They did this because they were stupid, but also because housing prices kept rising, and when the value of your house rose you could take out a home equity loan and use it to buy a new car (and in many cases, chrome rims.) Last year nearly a third of vehicle sales in California were purchased with home equity loans.house. An elementary school teacher who couldn't qualify for a bank loan to buy a $700 laptop could get a $450,000 mortgage because it had a house attached to it. No one ever anticipated that those houses would lose value quicker than the shiny new home equity-financed cars in their garages. In contrast, the lenders and the underwriters and the re-packagers and the insurers lobbied the SEC to allow them to amplify their exposure to the risk of that outcome exponentially by piling on debt of their own in a bid to maximize their profits, then proceeded to report said incredulity-straining profits in the assumption that they would continue rising and proceeded to pass those profits on to their employees, who in turn signed on for 100% mortgages on eight figure properties in Greenwich, where fear of the same sort of tidal wave of foreclosure has citizens proclaiming the financial crisis "Our Katrina." The whole thing was a show of such dramatic private sector incompetence it could not be achieved had the plutocracy not known exactly what the fuck it was doing, just as that great Californian Ronald Reagan knew exactly what the fuck he was doing when he railed against government waste only to ratchet up that waste to unprecedented levels by outsourcing most of the government to crony capitalists whose fiduciary responsibility by definition required they do all they could to maximize government waste. It was all an ingenious plan to de-fund the left and its socialist bureaucracy of bleeding-heart "programs," and it worked so well the Bush Administration ripped off the strategy to launch a trillion-dollar war that represents a vast minefield blocking any of Obama's plans to "level the playing field." Because while Obama's plans for the economy allegedly involve an average $800,000-a-household tax increase on the superrich, those plans were drawn up before the employees of Goldman Sachs spent their $21 billion in Christmas bonuses. The falloff in asset values has all the big pundits worrying we'll become the next Japan, but when you go to Japan and hear about the "Boom Years" of the eighties what strikes you is that most Japanese actually had some firsthand experience of said "Boom years." Did you? We allowed America to become the land of ten thousand centimillionaires; now that we have a crisis poised to disproportionately — from a Year On Year perspective, anyway; that's how these people think — hurt that untouchable class, it is not going to be easy to wring out a massive increase in nominal tax dollars from them. That is, of course, is what must be done. And it probably won't be positive for the Dow or the GDP or productivity levels or any of the arbitrary little numbers with which we're accustomed to measuring our economic well-being. It may well be a short term political windfall for the stubbornly fact-resistant class of politician who likes to say tax cuts on the wealthy always create jobs (when in fact no private sector of the economy besides health care has created jobs since 2000) or that Government "isn't the solution; more often than not it's the problem." What is the problem, of course, is people who think government is the problem who go into the government in what more often than not comes off like a twisted attempt to prove that. But the happy delusions of the state that brought us the Great Communicator are infectious, and the era clearly, desperately needs a Great Rebutter capable of optimistically guiding the country through what's going to be a rough time for all. The deep — and deeply unpatriotic — immorality of the "moral hazard" that has defined the past decade must be impressed upon every American voter. Every American voter needs to be able to visualize the 24-car garage of the billionaire hedge fund manager and wonder if some of the money might have not been better spent refurbishing the subway system or paying teachers more or helping an irresponsible homeowner renegotiate her mortgage or providing more comprehensive job training to some former welfare queen. All that stuff, after all, creates jobs too. But to impress these ideas upon voters requires a kind of moral authority that is undermined by pandering partisan rhetoric and the pages and pages of pork-tasting provisions of the bill Congress is about to pass. (It's also sort of undermined by gazillion dollar tax breaks of the sort extended to Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson for taking the job, but whatevs.) Warren Buffett could certainly muster it; more importantly, he could articulate recent history in a way the politicians he supports can't. More importantly, he can inspire and/or shame his partners in uberwealth into accepting and acknowledging a measure of social responsibility, and more powerfully, broadcasting that sense of responsibility to the public. Billionaire hedge fund manager John Paulson profited handsomely betting against the housing market; he now is giving much of that away to helping screwed homeowners. More people should know about him; more rich folks should emulate him.

The world showed up on the doorstep of the House of Representatives as news came out that the bailout bill failed in congress. Or at least, they showed up to the Web site house.gov, which has been intermittently available and running slow due to massive traffic. "Our computer people aren't going anywhere," spokesperson Jeff Ventura promised. So if you wanted to send speaker Nancy Pelosi a note, maybe send a fax or write an actual letter instead. [AP] (Photo by AP/Susan Walsh)

Everyone is treating Sarah Palin like a vapid celebrity and it is just so patronizing! Here she is, four thousand four hundred miles away from her tanning bed, meeting all these important people with accents in her very most distinguished Nancy Pelosi outfits and president of Pakistan tells her she is "more gorgeous" than he expected her to be! Gossip columnist "nearly lunged" to check out the label on her jacket at a fancy dinner the other night. So sexist, right! And it gets soooooo much more offensive!Mainstream media outlets - and our very own Richard! - have dipped into the market for Palin family fan fiction. Two weeks ago this market seemed the exclusive domain of independent satirists like Something Awful - which portrayed a young Levi Johnston as harboring an elaborate Sarah Palin wet nurse fantasy - and Jeff Johnson's blog, which imagined Todd Palin as the type of dude for whom "whiskey makes him more sober." Well this week New York's blog went there, inspired by the Sarah Palin's real-life, closed-to-the-press meeting with Henry Kissinger:

Everyone with an opinion hates the government takeover of the financial system thing. Conservatives hate it because it makes a mockery of capitalism, liberals hate it because they knew capitalism was a mockery to begin with but do they really have to have it shoved in their faces that way, and the only ones who support it are the spineless wimps who just got really scared when some briefer told them the Dow might fall 22%. Those people, Barack Obama included, are, I think we can all agree, pussies.* Which is why I invite you to take a gander at an the angry rant of a supposed anonymous F-bomb wielding Democratic member of Congress about the "petty, childish and completely in character" things he/she would like to do to the likes of Lehman CEO Dick Fuld and Countrywide's Angelo Mozilo and the "dumber than Sarah Palin" Democratic legislator who won't get them done.

"I believe in natural gas as a clean, cheap alternative to fossil fuels," House speaker Nancy Pelosi said on Meet the Press Sunday. She said it again, just to be sure. We know what she meant, but dumb little mistakes like this are the general public's equivalent of Valleywag's Google cafeteria reports. I waited a couple of days to see if Pelosi's quote would quietly fall off the radar. Silly me! A sampling of the backlash so far:Rush Limbaugh: "This would get somebody laughed out of a high school classroom. Yeah, not anymore maybe." John C. Dvorak: "Even Bush knows better." Naturalgas.org: "Natural gas is the cleanest of all fossil fuels." (Photo by AP/Richard Drew)

Greenwashing — the practice of gussying up old-fashioned capitalism as newfangled Earth-saving — is an art form. I used to think local greenwashers Pacific Gas & Electric and spam-prone solar shill Steve Westly were the masters. But they look like rank amateurs compared to Oklahoma native T. Boone Pickens. The man is a case study in how to effectively cloak your greed in green. As a result, he's won plaudits, taxpayer money, and eminent domain over private property. The latest example?Pickens and Chesapeake Energy CEO Aubrey McClendon are about to convince California voters to fork over $5 billion in a ballot proposition called the "California Alternative Fuels Initiative." It's really a giveaway to natural gas developers like Pickens and McClendon. Good thing he's sticking to energy, an industry he understands. When last we heard from the iconic corporate raider, he was busy losing piles of money on Yahoo and cursing the company's management. That debacle forgotten, of late he's has been getting more media attention for his role in massive projects under the catchy "Pickens Plan." Part of that plan is California's Proposition 10, due for a vote in November. Pickens and McClendon have spent only $3.7 million so far promoting the $5 billion bond measure, according to the Wall Street Journal. If it passes, that's one heck of a return on investment. The plan will ultimately cost taxpayers $8.9 billion and raise sales taxes with no guarantees that the state will actually see much of a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions. You'd think environmentalists would have seen through Pickens "reformed oil man" facade, but you'd be wrong: With less than three months until the issue is due for a vote, no formal opposition has emerged. Pickens is a pro at bending state politics to his will. His plan to drill for groundwater in the Texas panhandle and sell it to Dallas residents met with opposition from ecologists and landowners, since it required a 250-mile straw to drink up the Ogallala aquifer's milkshake. So Pickens slapped some wind-turbine generators onto the plan, and with the help of some changes to local laws, managed to place himself at the head of a new water district with the power of eminent domain in order to seize the necessary land across the dusty Texas plains for the pipeline. It's the kind of move that you would think would provoke bipartisan disgust — natural-resource exploitation, to offend the liberals, with the abuse of eminent domain for private gain, to piss off the conservatives. Instead, the longtime Republican who helped swiftboat Democratic presidential hopeful John Kerry is winning green points amongst conservatives by promising "energy independence" from foreign oil. And Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D.-San Francisco, is an investor in Pickens's Clean Energy Fuels. As such, she stands to profit from the deal as well, effectively silencing the state and national Democratic Party on the issue Our ten-gallon hats are off to the man for suckering both sides of the aisle into giving him what he wants and the public into thinking he's motivated by anything more than greed. Well played, Mr. Pickens, well played.

According to newly suggested house rules, your representatives in Washington will be able to circumvent CSPAN and bore you with canned speeches and mind-numbing rhetoric over live video broadcasting sites like Qik. Why does anyone care? Because John Culberson, R-Texas, tweeted "I just learned the Dems are trying to censor Congressmen's ability to use Twitter Qik YouTube, Utterz etc — outrageous and I will fight them," and blogosphere wingbats raised a hue and cry. Nancy Pelosi, D.-Calif., declined to use her Digg account to promote the story, instead issuing a press release promising to "ensure that taxpayer dollars are not used for political or commercial purposes." Me, I'm just scared that the raging-est blowhards in Washington, the House of Representatives, have discovered Twitter. No good can come of this.

The average contribution from AT&T, Verizon and Sprint to the 94 Democratic congresscritters who change their votes from "no" to "yes" on the bill which would grant the companies immunity from charges of illegally wiretapping American citizens? $8,359. How much for all 293 "yes" votes, total? $2,830,087. Eleven California dems changed their votes — Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who represents San Francisco, scored $24,500 in sweet, sweet lobbyist contributions. [MAPLight.org] (Photo by AP/Susan Walsh)

All sorts of powerful women have dealt with sexism! Some people even make incorrect assumptions about your job title because of it. Next up: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (well, that's what the newscaster meant to call her), will discuss sexism!

Jordan Golson has landed at The Industry Standard, quippy as ever. On Nancy Pelosi's call for the Valley to throw cash at solving the world's problems: "I'm not sure why Pelosi is asking for help with education and building infrastructure when we can't even get Twitter running reliably — and that's the real crisis, isn't it?" [Industry Standard]

Hollywood strongman Harvey Weinstein is a big supporter of Hillary Clinton, because they share a similar megalomania. Weinstein, who throws a great deal of showbiz money at Democrats and who is known for his Hulk-esque temper, reportedly called up House Speaker Nancy Pelosi last month to threaten her unless the Dems handed his gal Hillary the nomination. Weinstein said he'd cut of all money to Dem congressional campaigns unless Pelosi backed the Clinton campaign's unfeasible plan to get the Dems to pay for brand new elections in Florida and Michigan. Weinsein has denied it all. Or at least he denied that it was a "threat." He owns up to calling Pelosi and "offering" "to put together a team of people to help finance a revote in Florida and Michigan." Then he threatened to eat the officials who leaked details of the call. Weinsein's owned up to a bad temper before, once telling Ken Auletta that it's the thing he dislikes most about himself. In fact, Weinstein's temper makes Weinstein so angry he feels like he's going to explode. An Entourage clip exploring this famous bad mood in a comedic style may be found after the jump.

Style expert Tim Gunn was on Late Night with Conan O'Brien last night and managed to blurt out that he thinks Hillary Clinton is confused about her gender. She appears mannish, he said, in her suits that look like Kevlar. Though he loves how Nancy Pelosi dresses, and therefore encourages her to run for president. Ack, Timmy. This unseemliness is all compounded by the fact that avowed redneck comedian Larry the Cable Guy was sitting next to Tim the whole time. At one point he even chimed in, suggesting that the fashion maven wears a "pin wheel hat and nipple clamps" for fun. Then Tim touched him. Two worlds that should never collide just did. Uncomfortably. Video after the jump.

So yeah, it's pretty "Congressional representatives: They're Just Like Us!" over at the Times today: not only did we find out what happens when state reps stopped being polite and started getting rodent-infested, we also got a peek into the closet of the fashion plate who's shaking up Capitol Hill: new speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Thursgay admires her "easy fashion savvy," but chides her for having a wardrobe that's "overreliant on suits." (Eyeroll.) The article also quotes Republican Congresswoman Mary Bono, who's a big fan of Nancy's style, if not . . . well, anything else about her: