The Brown University student newspaper, the Daily Herald, is very sorry that Brown students shared photos of 17-year-old Malia Obama in the general vicinity of a pyramid of red Solo cups that may or may not have been used for beer pong (which the First Daughter may or may not have been playing).

Last night, Anderson Cooper spent an hour embarrassing eight 13-year-olds on national television. First in front of each other, and then in front of their parents. Regardless of whatever insight we were supposed to have gleaned from a bunch of pubescent tweeters, at the end of the night, there was really only one takeaway: Anderson Cooper is a narc.

Of the few checks on the unrelenting sociopathy of teens, one of the most effective is the tattling little brother. The power of the squealer was recently demonstrated in Birmingham, Alabama, where it allowed a woman to publicly apologize to the people her noxious spawn had wronged.

Secret Service agents: not the only government men letting it all hang loose in Colombia. Turns out their DEA brothers from another budget also have a penchant for flying south for a little DCP&P (drug cartel parties and prostitutes).

Admitted recreational marijuana smoker Barack Obama is still letting the Justice Department harass established San Francisco medical pot dispensaries out of business, with the 15-year-old Hemp Center in the Richmond District the latest to be threatened by the feds.

What's it like to be Mitt Romney's neighbor? Pretty shitty, according to a Times article about the candidate's $12 million, three-bedroom house (once occupied by Richard Gere) in the San Diego suburb of La Jolla. For one thing, he is trying to "quadruple the size" of the house, which is annoying to everyone. And for another thing, he is a dick about people smoking pot on the beach:

David Carr's column today is partly about a plan masterminded by Ad Age columnist Simon Dumenco to create, quote, a "Council on Ethical Blogging and Aggregation," which will ostensibly serve as a sort of trade group or (nonbinding) credentialing organization for best practices in the blogosphere. Well-intended, and a bad idea.

Let's get one thing clear: Randye Hoder, a mom, is no narc. She is such a non-narc that she wrote an entire column in the New York Times' parenting blog about how she would never narc, no matter what her 14 year-old son Nathaniel (who has her husband's last name, Wartzman) tells her.

Don't get that excited about California Prop 19 — a state ballot measure to legalize small possessions of marijuana — passing, kids. Because mean old Attorney General Eric Holder says his department will still "vigorously enforce" superseding federal anti-pot laws.