Donald Trump is in Manchester, New Hampshire today, working to collect the state’s four electoral votes, which will surely propel him over Hillary Clinton and into the White House. At his rally, he took questions from attendees, including a woman named Cathy, who is New Hampshire’s Legislative Chairman, VFW Auxiliary.

Police either did not notice the helicopter loudly whirring above them or did not care as they approached a car chase suspect in Nashua, New Hampshire this evening. Under a local news camera’s watchful eye, several cops pummeled the crap out of the guy, even as he laid down and surrendered.

Very few people in the United States understand how the byzantine delegate party system works, and according to Politico, New Hampshire Republicans are hoping to use this fact to their advantage to freeze out Donald Trump.

Last week, the New Hampshire Secretary of State released the list of delegates who will represent the state at the Republican National Convention in July. One of the alternates for the Trump campaign is Gerald DeLemus, who is currently facing federal indictment over his alleged involvement with the Bundy family.

Way back in 2014, a Cliven Bundy and his band of anti-government gunmen tried to start a small war with the Bureau of Land Management (some of them recently tried again in Oregon). Today, one of the leaders of that fight is in federal custody—and that means Donald Trump is down one campaign officer.

I just got back from several days in New Hampshire, attending political rallies across the state and observing thousands of voters in their natural habitat. What have I learned about what will happen in the presidential race? Nothing!

Despite recent cries that empowering yourself to vote for your candidate of choice somehow makes you a Bad Feminist™ (assuming that person is anyone but Hillary Clinton), New Hampshire women evidently don’t give a shit. Because last night, Bernie Sanders won with women by 11 points.

Robot Rubio apologized to his friends, family, and programmers on Tuesday night—following what looks to be an uninspiring fifth place finish—for having been such a mess at Saturday’s debate. “I did not do well on Saturday night,” he said. “That will never happen again.”

After a loss that would have been infinitely more enjoyable (for us) if it had been at the hands of anyone but Ted Cruz, imminent President Donald Trump finally got to give his very first victory speech with 34 percent of the vote. And it was pretty much exactly what you’d expect.

According to the Associated Press, Chris Christie is heading back to Jersey to “take a deep breath” and “take stock of [his] presidential bid.” As Christie’s beloved idol Bruce Springsteen would say: Great—who the hell needs Chris Christie.

In tonight’s concession speech, Hillary Clinton made grand declarations of her desire to get all the dirty money and secret Wall Street influence the hell out of politics. Which is to say, Hillary Clinton really wants Hillary Clinton out of politics.

Just a few minutes ago, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes offered some insight into exactly why Bernie Sandwiches was able to snag New Hampshire so handily. Delicious, delicious Bernie Sandwiches.

Not long after it became abundantly clear that Bernie Sanders would handily win Tuesday’s primary, in New Hampshire, Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager, Robby Mook, released a memo to “interested parties” explaining very deliberately and carefully why the former Secretary of State has nothing to worry about, nothing at all.

While some networks (including Fox News) prefer to rely on human-sized iPads and holograms of a young Reagan to read the night’s primary results, still-frozen Thanksgiving turkey Karl Rove has chosen to go a different route. More specifically, the Zodiac Killer route.

A contingent of New Hampshire voters on Tuesday simply could not contain their enthusiasm for Martin O’Malley—despite the fact that he is not actually running for president anymore.

New Hampshire’s polls are closed. CNN’s graphics team hasn’t slept in weeks. And we’re about to find out who the weirdos in New Hampshire want to be our next president.

With 3% of New Hampshire precincts reporting, boot-as-hat wearing crazy sorcerer man Vermin Supreme has 0.2% of the Democratic vote. Martin O’Malley, who ran a modern political campaign, currently has 0.3%.

Well folks, it’s that lovely election night limbo after the polls have begun to close and before anyone actually knows anything, and so instead we have to look at exit polls! Exit polls are only ever indicative of bad things. How bad? Let’s find out.

According a CBS exit poll, a vast majority of Republican New Hampshire voters support at least a *temporary* blanket ban on all Muslim immigrants. Which is to say, a vast majority of New Hampshire Republicans are pretty racist and probably voting Trump.

Marco Rubio is broken.