[New York City's lights are dimmed in 1943, to cut the city's energy costs during World War II. A strategy we could perhaps employ in these troubled economic times? Image: LIFE © Time Inc.]

Michael Bloomberg, the man who we'll freely admit is the least bad man to have run New York in a long time, is seeking a third term as mayor of this great city, which is not actually legal. But, you know, people all like him, even (well-off white) Democrats! So unlike when vicious rat-faced monster Rudy Giuliani tried this, after 9/11, everyone will basically get behind this repeal of term limits thing. Because we need a rich old technocrat independent in this time of great strife! By "everyone" we mean the Times and the Post and the Daily News because the alternatives—what the hell are the alternatives? Some stupid Democrats from the City Council whom no one has ever heard of, and also Marty Markowitz—are lousy and unknown and scary. It has been a peaceful and mostly prosperous couple years for New York, yes. It was, overall, a nice change of pace from the Giuliani years, for everyone. We all got along, there was "consensus." But you know his NYPD are just as miserable and free from accountability as Giuliani's! He recently (admirably) changed the way New York measures poverty, revealing that he has not done very much until now to, like, alleviate any of this poverty. The race and class divisions are basically as bad as they have ever been in New York, right now, after two full terms of Bloomberg. And he wanted the Olympics! Remember that bullshit? So, like, maybe this third term is his desperate last shot at becoming some sort of crusader for the little people? Except he's never seemed vaguely interested in that, until now, sort of. So maybe he just wants to run again to finally ban salt. (Because, hah, that is his real legacy: New York is not allowed to be gross anymore!) All of his advisors advise against a campaign to overturn term limits, because even tho Mayor Mike is quite popular, term limits are even more popular, and seeking to get out them after years of supporting them rubs voters the wrong way. So then who is advising Mike to try this stunt? You will never guess!

In addition to the unfortunate-looking New York, I Love You, a number of other New York-centric "we both love and mourn ourselves" films will premiere at the upcoming Toronto Film Festival, gushes the New York Times. There will be ruminative documentaries about the lost New York City of the 1970's, through the lenses of the Broadway show A Chorus Line and the old Upper West Side sex club Plato's Retreat. And another film called Lymelife about disgruntled ennui on Long Island (starring the disgruntled Alec Baldwin!) The TImes writes indulgently about the films:

Suck it, London! Better luck next time, Tokyo! Paris, you're over! New York City is the most competitive city in the whole wide world, says this handy chart from The Economist. "The study ranks 500 cities on their ability to attract and use resources to generate wealth. The cities are assessed on nine measures, including income, economic growth, innovation, jobs, prices and the presence of multinational firms." Just one problem...

Never one miss out on a trend, Rumer Willis became the latest celebrity to don an amorphous potato sack dress while out shopping in New York City. The House Bunny star felt the shapeless outfit leaves a lot to imagination while still being fashionable and wearable. Willis said, "So many guys are just dying to look down your shirt and this outfit prevents them. You can't get this milk for free. Oh no. Dinner at Dan Tana's, then it'll become a maybe."

The New Yorker's Joan Acocella explains in May's Smithsonian what effect living in close quarters, often in public, has on the behavior of New Yorker. "They act on the street as they do in private. In the United States today, public behavior is ruled by a kind of compulsory cheer that people probably picked up from television and advertising that coats their transactions in a smooth, shiny glaze. New Yorkers have not yet gotten the knack of this." She also totally knows why we ignore celebrities when we see them in the street (no, it's not 'cause we're jaded):

Oh, Scores! They've just filed a lawsuit against the city of New York and the State Liquor Authority, saying that the police are corrupt! Actually, it's Scores West, the slightly trashier cousin of Scores East, the famous Howard Stern-patronized rumored-to-be-mobbed-up strip club, where some working gals were busted for prostitution last year. (Anecdotes I've heard from former Scores dancers confirm its place in hell.) The police probably are corrupt, but this is the same place that openly tolerates prostitution, and even had secret rooms in the Scores West location specifically for that purpose.

Of all the porn stores, video peeps, and live-girl peepshows in Times Square, Show World in its original incarnation was the most notorious. (Now, it's up for lease or sale and may close, reports the Post.) Its bright layout anesthetized the pornography it housed; it was often referred to either as the McDonald's or Wal-Mart of porn. At its peak, thirty-two live girls per shift worked 24-7 behind glass on stages and in peepshow booths. The glass separating the girls from the customers came and went according to the vice laws of the time; the glass went back up for good around 2000. There was even a trannie stage!

While adolescents and adolescent-at-heart adults across the nation anticipate Grand Theft Auto IV and its slightly skewed New York, we pause to remember the richly detailed and intriguingly off-kilter New York of the 1984 Activision classic Ghostbusters. A New York where Park Avenue runs alongside Church St, and they both go crosstown. A New York where Zuul may be found on the corner of Union and 3rd (3rd Ave? Street? Who knows!). More intriguing video game visions of New York, courtesy The Bowery Boys, below.

The Library of Congress has a flickr page, which is amazing. I'm a sucker for 1910's New York photography. AFter the jump, Tompkins Square park, the smoking ruins of the 1911 Dreamland fire in Coney Island, Assman's balloons and hot boxers. [Coudal]

Click to viewAll those people—such as myself!—who complain about what New York City is like today? Too much anecdote, not enough fact. What really happened to New York City? I thought of one way to find out. Over the last month, I have read the Metro section from each issue of the New York Times—starting in mid-2000 and ending with today's paper. Here's what I learned.

What's up with the CCTV lovefest? It's already been established that surveillance cameras aren't all that effective when it comes to crime-fighting. Following Chicago's lead, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg says he's looking to emulate the "ring of steel" — cameras and road barriers — that London devised to fend off IRA bombings. Bloomberg brushes off all the privacy hubbub by saying, "We are under surveillance all the time." You're naive to think otherwise. Your privacy is an illusion, much like your security. What we want to be a bit less private, though, is who's making bank off this urban paranoia.

So this cute kid moves from the Midwest to New York City to work as an intern at Google. Wholesome Eric Hielscher starts a blog to track big-city revelations like "I see rats almost every day running around on the subway tracks" and "Ugh, what a pain in the butt it is finding an apartment in New York." Then Valleywag's sister blog, the bullyish Gawker, teases the poor boy and either buries the site in unexpected traffic or scares him into shutting it down himself. What a shame, it's really a cute blog (as is he, don't you think, ladies?). Thankfully, even though the blog won't show up normally, it's still in the Google cache. Or read Gawker's funny write-up! Oh my, Eric confused one neighborhood for another! Ha! Ha!

The latest issue of the most prestigious British rag this side of Hello! features a special report about cities, and guess what? They are more popular than ever. Turns out that starting around now (maybe a little while go, also maybe not yet) more than half the people on the planet live in cities for the first time in human history.

Since two's a trend, I can declare that there is a massive outbreak of socially-retarded behavior in the delis of Manhattan. Because this is already a sweeping trend piece, I am happy to randomly assert that this is due to an influx of new and very stupid people to New York who haven't yet cottoned on to what a Korean deli is. Incident the first: The East Village Korean counterman greets two dazed customers with a hearty hello to indicate he is ready to ring them up. Then these queens start bitching, loudly, about how they don't like to be greeted in such an strident manner. "This is the rudest deli in New York!" says one. Clearly they've never been to West Bushwick!

So you know how you're not allowed to dance in any bar or club in New York City that doesn't have a cabaret license, and Rudy Giuliani was known for, among other things, closing places down that didn't have the appropriate licenses? Well, you still can't do it, and you won't be able to in the foreseeable future, either. The state Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the 80-year-old cabaret law could be upheld because there's no constitutional right to dance. Oh yeah? Try telling that to, like, Junior Vasquez! The people just want to dance! Enjoy your shuffling-in-place moves this weekend.

The Real Estate Observer notes that the Democratic National Committee has chosen Denver as host city for its 2008 National Convention, bypassing the other major candidate: our fair city. The move makes sense on a couple of levels, especially politically: For the Democrats to regain the White House, they'll have to solidify the recent gains they've made in the West while shedding their image as the party of latte-sipping, brie-eating, fetus-killing tax-and-spenders (even though, you know, that's what they are). We can only imagine how well the image of a woman and a black guy coming to the podium to accept their nominations for the presidency and vice-presidency would play in the flyover states if it were coming from a city whose recent contributions to the culture include gay muppets, Shortbus, and the continuing inexplicable ability of Mario Cantone to get work. In any event, we want to look at the positive aspects of this decision, i.e., there won't be eight million protesting jackasses crowding midtown with their foul hippie odors and "Bush=Hitler" signs. Congratulations, Denver! Say hi to the jackasses from Critical Mass for us!

We were thrilled to learn of this genius invention, which is designed for New Yorkers who want to keep a three-foot bubble of 'me space' around them at all times. This clip demonstrates the Excuse Me belt bouncing around town in all its jaunty, quasi-phallic action. Enjoy, and spread the word so that soon we'll all be wearing little plastic flags that herald our arrival. They go great with 'being a huge twatwaffle."

Friday:
• We're not sure if the Pill's description of Spinto Band is actually positive ("perennial up-and-comers" seems vaguely condescending), but we promise they'll rock your little socks off. And if you're still in town at 6pm on Labor Day weekend, you don't have shit else to do. With Dirty on Purpose at South Street Seaport. [Flavorpill]

We eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast, Albuquerque. Fucking retards.