A study of the 57 largest metropolitan areas in the country shows NYC is only the seventh craziest. Cincinnati is nuttiest. What? Cincinnati? If we don't have loons on the street, what do we have?

King Bloomberg has declared a snow day! Long live the king! It's too snowy for New York kids to go to school today. City employees, however, are still expected to work. Who will care for their children? [ABCLocal]

Due to the ominous forecast for tomorrow, New York City has already ordered a preemptive snow day for public schools. Great way to rob these children of one of the greatest feelings that they'll ever have, Bloomberg.

Mark Malkoff set out to dispel the "myth" that New Yorkers are a bunch of unfriendly, fast-paced jerks. To do so, he walked up to people on the streets and asked for them to physically carry him along his way.

New York said goodbye to 2009 and kicked off the decade with a rough 48 hours that included a murder suicide, a crotch stabbing, and a teenage knife fight.

Behold, the bike lane to nowhere: Bedford Avenue's hotly contested sexy/sinful bike lane cost New York $11K to install and $15K to eliminate to protect Hasids' eyes from scantily clad females, plus whatever damages the guerrilla repainters inflict. [NBCNewYork.com]

Lisa van Dusen has been coming to New York City for a great many years and she did not care for its baseball bat-wielding desk clerks, cerulean shag carpeting and gag-inducing transport.

Alright. This has got to stop. After banning smoking in bars, New York City officials are now thinking of extending their totalitarian grip to public spaces. Will the madness never end?

Even though no one knows that there's anyone running against him, Mike Bloomberg's numbers are falling. So yesterday, in a campaign speech, he promised to make all the trains run on time.

The Pentagon has released a document dump of internal e-mails from its struggle to deal with the Air Force One flyover that freaked out Manhattan in April. You can smell the panic.

New York City at dawn via Mudpig's Flickr via Animal NY

Last week you scoffed with your sarcastic "boo hoos" and reminded us it's still technically spring when we said 2009 is shaping up to be The Year Without a Summer. Are those of you on the East Coast convinced yet?

Everybody knows that NYC Prep show isn't real. That's what the Wall Street Journal's Speakeasy blog proudly reminds us. See, real NYC preppers are nothing like the upcoming series. One of the schools even sent a letter saying as much.

The two guys New York City married by mistake? That didn't last long.

No, it's not you. The weather in New York City has been a foggy, soggy, cloudy, sunless slog through what is supposed to be a beautiful, joyous June. Blame it on fucking El Niño.

[Military brides gather in Times Square to get married in an event cosponsored by the USO. Five couples were married on the island in the middle of the square, like for realsies; image via Getty]

Mitchell Wiener, the assistant principal at IS 238 in Jamaica Estates, Queens, has died of complications from the H1N1 virus, popularly known as the dreaded swine flu.

Surely you've seen those Bingo cards for hipsters, and Blipsters. I always wondered why there wasn't one for New York's Blog-media. Now there is!

[An 1848 daguerreotype shows the Upper West Side of Manhattan, along Broadway. It's believed to be one of the oldest known photographs of New York City. Sotheby's is auctioning, for an expected $50,000-70,000.]

Our long regional nightmare is over. The City has ended. MTV's New York City-set Hills spin-off sputtered and died weeks ago, but they've finally hauled its carcass across the finish line. Let's dissect.