• Martha Stewart ankles bracelet, finally. [Newsday]
• Newsday to cut jobs, benefit, and maybe the NYC edition. Again. [NYDN]
• Howell Raines lives! Though it's still not like he's getting published on this coast. [LAT]
• As if a reality show about life at the Daily News didn't sound exciting enough, know this: Word is long-fingered vulgarian Hud Morgan's the breakout star. This is particularly great news, because Hud's ego really needs a boost. [WWD]
• FX becomes the first TV network to show Iraqi insurgents beheading a journalist — on fictional show, Over There. [E&P]
• Now Google sells print ads, too. Somehow, this must be bad for newspapers and magazines. [NYT]

Speaking of media-HQ cleanups, an anonymous Daily Newsman reports on the facelift potential Gawker Hottie Mort Zuckerman has ordered for his tabloid's HQ:

So all a woman has to do is ride a bike topless and she'll have a crowd of photographers following her— including, it seems, at least one real TV-news camera and, of course, the Daily News?

The News introduces us today to a frightening band of alcoholics who find it charming to dress up as pirates and visit New York's bars:

The second we saw the lede, we knew it was going to be good: "By the time you've watched just one hour of the Fox show 'American Idol,' Rupert Murdoch has lost $7,990 on the New York Post." We're surprised it took the Daily News this long to issue the requisite taunt in light of Friday's resignation of Post publisher Lachlan Murdoch, but now that they have, we're anticipating some daily ankle biting from both papers' business desks. To make the inevitable retort run a bit more smoothly, we've gone ahead and taken the Daily News bitchslap and edited it so that the Post can easily slip it into tomorrow's paper:

Right. Two years of delays. Or, you know, 30-odd, when you consider ground was broken in 1972.

In the wake of the terrible attacks on London, no New Yorker's empathetic arms are quite so extended as those of Daily News columnist and Gawker False Idol Lenore Skenazy. Per usual, her poetic, deep, and original words have left us feeling rather moved. You, too, can find comfort in her prose:

Maybe open containers are verboten by the MTA — and maybe they have been for decades — but apparently eating on the train is entirely legal. But just becaue something's legal doesn't mean it's a good idea in all cases, as we learned the hard way long ago. Looking out for its straphanging subscribers, the News does some hard-hitting consumer reporting today, trying to determine the ideal subway snack. Offerings from Burger King, Wendy's, McDonald's, and Taco Bell were all considered, and nothing got great marks. But one thing was clear: Despite its eponymity, Subway on the subway just doesn't work. Something about the tomatoes.

Today's Daily News takes an in-depth look at a certain breed of New Yorker, those ladies who spend more time at the gym than a lonely, sweaty man. They aren't just the stick-figure women you naturally hate; they're the ladies whose svelte arms have a frightening bit of Madonna-esque ripple to them. In short, they could kick your ass and they know it:

We once watched the Teletubbies with a cute little cousin of ours and were amazed that, halfway through the show, all the Teletubbies just yell "Again!" and then they just replay the first half of the episode. This seemed like a remarkably economical way to run a television program.

Would you be disturbed by 150 lactating women waiting outside your office to yell at you? We might be. Yesterday a swarm of breast-feeding women (calling themselves "lactivists") converged on ABC's studios to protest Barbara Walters' comments on "The View" that she felt uncomfortable sitting on a plane next to a breast-feeding mom. (Of all the shows for recent mothers to happen to be watching. "The View." Huh.)

Because we always strive to bring you reports of public humiliation of New York journalists, let's check in with the Universal Orlando theme park's newest attraction, "Fear Factor Live":

I've become something of a fan of the Daily News recently, ever since I stopped being able to access the Post. It's not as fun of a train wreck, of course, but they were the only paper to report that someone tried to blow up the Post the other day, which leads me to believe that they made it up. That sounds like the kind of thing I'd do. We have an affinity, you know? So I must say I'm saddened, slightly, to receive this unsubstantiated rumor:

Remember Dawn Eden? Overreaching copy editor, blogger, Jew for Jesus, crusader for Embryonic Rights, chaste object of George Gurley's affection?

For whatever revealingly sad reason, Lloyd Grove felt it necessary to close out today's column by reminding his readers of his existence. Like an ignored child that'll do just about anything to get your attention, Grove rattles off a convenient list of his Lowdown exclusives, just in case, you know, someone doesn't want to renew his contract recall his big scoops.

Woodward and Bernstein. Sy Hersh. Whoever first wrote about Iran-Contra. Add to this roster of groundbreaking journalists The Daily News' Phyllis Furman, who today emerges from what was no doubt months of painstaking investigation to reveal that Universal Pictures has a marketing plan for the film King Kong. In what is proudly billed as a DAILY NEWS EXCLUSIVE, Furman uncovers the shocking truth about the studio's plan to use New York as part of its promotion: 'The studio has been in discussions with appropriate organizations in New York to investigate the possibility of a premier event in New York,' a Universal spokesman told The News. But wait, what area landmarks might come into play? Furman gets the goods: One idea explored by Universal involved hanging a huge King Kong figure off the side of the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, that plan is dead for now. The sizzling expose, which does not at all read like a press release for Universal even though it plays up the studio's success at the expense of parent company NBC, is expected to cause consternation at the rival New York Post, which only seems to get exclusives on films produced by 20th Century Fox. Impacting. AB

A great, um, nugget buried at the end of the article:

Lloyd Grove gets to the bottom of this vicious and false Cruise-Holmes hookup rumor. Just ignore those photos on the next page, kids. —MG

An anonymous e-mailer writes:

More on Bravo's "The Daily News" from Editor & Publisher: