Heidi Cruz, a former Goldman Sachs banker, is probably Ted Cruz’s best inroad to the city full of Jews and gays he campaigned against just a few weeks ago when he was angling for that sweet evangelical vote. But has she ever been to New York City before? Hard to say.

While you were wondering when Eliot Spitzer would resign last Tuesday night, Gawker videographer Alex Goldberg attended two parties, where he captured intoxicated flocks of hipsters in their natural elements: dancing, in Batman sweatshirts and fanny-packs, at Beauty Bar and Happy Endings. Star tattoos! Old-timey hats! Old-timey facial hair! The goddamn robot! All the reasons the terrorists hate us and some they haven't yet thought of are in the attached clip.