Barack Obama has some distant relative from a place called "Moneygall," in Ireland. Maureen Dowd joked about that in an interview that ran on Monday. Days later, she couldn't come up with a better line.

AIG is facing angry unemployed mobs, which is exactly why they deserve gobs of bonus money, argues the NYT's Andrew Ross Sorkin in the least persuasive case possible for rewarding failed finance executives.

Look how adorable the Times' most aggravating columnist was, in her little "Irish stuff" outfit!

Hey all you Weekenders out there, did you catch the New York Times' story on how the press is obsessed with the most trifling things about the Obama administration? What a tarantella of self-awareness!

• Jim Cramer hits The Daily Show tonight. And in what can only be interpreted as an effort to dial down the ass-kicking headed his way, Cramer is now claiming Jon Stewart is "his idol." Good luck with that there, Jim. [HP]
• Should CNBC's Erin Burnett really be making appearances on Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice? Maybe not: "NBC keeps testing the limits between news and entertainment in pursuit of cross-promotional synergy." [NYT]
• "Sully" Sullenberger has scored a two-book deal worth $3 million. [TDB]
• Ann Coulter "has been especially noisy in her self-promotion lately," which may have something to do with the fact her book isn't selling. [Portfolio]
• More and more TV shows are working the recession into storylines. [ABC]
• These are dark days for the newspaper biz, as you've probably heard. [NYT]
• More on Ross Douthat, the conservative blogger who has been hired by The New York Times to take over Bill Kristol's Op-Ed column. [E&P]
• Post staffers reflect on the life and times of Braden Keil, the paper's real estate columnist who died on Tuesday and who will be very much missed. [NYO]

How long should a dead Timesman have to wait before getting an obituary in his own damn paper?

What's Twitter good for? Knowing that your life of quiet desperation is shared by the rich, powerful, or merely well-read, for starters. Steve Case, Sasha Frere-Jones, and Rob Corddry deserve twitty pity:

Hooray! The Times found their new token conservative! Taking over for Bill Kristol: Mr. Ross Douthat.

Last month, shares in the New York Times Co. dropped below the $4 cost of a Sunday paper, and shares in Citibank fell below the cost of the bank's ATM fee.

Is the New York Times going under? Company officials have scoffed at the suggestion. The moneymen who just gave it a much-needed cash infusion are betting on it.

In your blustery Wednesday media column: the newspaper industry burns, News Corp can't handle hardcore music, NPR needs more black people, and the NYT sells a jet:

Editor & Publisher's Mark Fitzgerald and Jennifer Saba report that the New York Times Co. is selling its private jet, news that the company apparently included in its annual proxy, which was filed with the SEC this morning. But it looks like they've been trying to unload the 1997 Dassault Falcon for close to two months now: It appears the plane was first officially listed back in mid-January. Isn't there someone out there who can come to Arthur Sulzberger Jr.'s rescue? It's just $9.5 million! And it's loaded with extras! You'll find the full specs below. [F&J via Politico]

Well, this was probably inevitable: Now that everyone in the world is telling newspaper and magazine publishers they need to charge for website access, the big players are reconsidering the idea.

Ha, the University of Chicago's newspaper dug up a 1982 column by NYT bobo David Brooks. It's about his nightmares. He had an intense fear of gargoyles, zombies, and totally weird wallpaper:

Front page shocker in today's New York Times: William Shakespeare was a homosexual. Grizzled former war correspondent John F. Burns has unearthed the bombshell in the form of a very gay-looking portrait.

The future's so bright for Twitterer Matt Cooper, he had to adjust his shades. Things looked darker for bullied gadget reviewer David Pogue, while CBS's Natali Del Conte got unwelcome stares at Starbucks. Today's tweets:

A debt-strapped New York Times has managed to mortgage its shiny new headquarters for a quick cash infusion of $225 million. But at what cost? Some quick Excel work gives us an ugly answer:

Given the questions that have been raised over the years about the ties between New York Times reporter Bill Carter and NBC management, it's a bit of a wonder the paper still permits him to churn out puff pieces about the network. But they do, and so today Carter happily reports that NBC News "is making a pile of money" and the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams is doing so fantastically well that Steve Capus, the president of the division, is now thinking about becoming the "first network to expand to a full-hour newscast." There's a great idea! Now instead of not being home to catch Williams from 6:30 to 7pm, you can miss an extra half-hour between 6 and 6:30pm, too. The persuasive evidence supporting this winner of an idea is below.

Did you know that the reason talk show hosts don't have sidekicks anymore is because of blogs and Dick Cheney? Alessandra Stanley cracked the code!

• Marty Peretz, former owner of the New Republic, is buying back the mag with a group of investors led by former Lazard exec Laurence Grafstein. [Politico]
• The New York Times Co. has successfully raised $225 million by selling off 21 floors of its Eighth Avenue office building. [NYT]
• "Was last week the worst one in CNBC's 20-year history—or the best?" asks the Times today. Thanks in part to Jon Stewart, we're pretty sure it was its worst, but ratings are up so CNBC execs aren't complaining. [NYT]
• Carl Icahn is stepping up his effort to take control of Lionsgate. [Variety]
• McClatchy, which publishes 30 daily newspapers, says it plans to slash 1,600 jobs, or 15% of its work force, as well as cut salaries across the board. [WSJ]
• Mag covers with Barack Obama have performed well, by and large. [NYP]
• Watchmen was No. 1 at the weekend box office, grossing $55.7 million. [EW]
• The Tribeca Film Festival announced its May lineup today. [THR]