New York Times employees are being forced to forage for food outdoors today. The cafeteria is closed because—oh yes—the last 24 hours have brought gastrointestinal sickness to countless innocent NYT employees! Cuisine of DOOM? Scandalous internal memo below.

Gallup, New Mexico mayor Harry Mendoza saw Gallup newspaper publisher Bob Zollinger in a parking lot and what happened? Yes, they got in a fistfight. "Mendoza told police that Zollinger started poking him in the chest hitting his pacemaker."

• It's a new day at Condé Nast. The mag giant's chief exec, Chuck Townsend, has gone from firing staffers to giving them motivational speeches. [NYO]
• In Touch's editor quit yesterday, reportedly because he wasn't happy that his bosses wouldn't agree to increase his $750,000-a-year salary. [NYP]
• Is MSNBC's Ed Schultz thinking about running for Senate? [HP, The Hill]
• A draft of the script for the third Twilight film has been leaked online. [WSJ]
• Fox's latest reality show, Our Little Genius, is stirring up controversy. [NYT]
• It looks like Sam Mendes will be directing the next James Bond movie. [MTV]
• Advertising: Hanes is pulling its TV ads featuring Charlie Sheen. [People]
• Taylor Swift's "Fearless" was the No. 1 selling album of 2008. In other Taylor-related news, Taylor Lautner is now the highest paid teenager in Hollywood.
• "Newspaper reporter" is officially one of the worst jobs in America. [HP]

In your wintry Wednesday media column: More and more and more Dana Milbank, short is good, freelancing sucks, and just let the NYT sell its ads, you ungrateful bastards.

In your icy Tuesday media column: Michael Wolff vs. David Carr vol. 89, a belated apology for the "worst deal of the century," a Christian is found in the liberal media, and the NYT luvs Kim Kardashian (maybe).

Sure, the job of newspaper reporter is ranked worse than "dishwasher" and "nuclear plant decontamination technician" in this list of "Best and Worst Jobs 2010." But at least it edges out "Roustabout," barely! [WSJ via Mary Pilon]

Cablevision, an unskilled owner of newspapers, is asking for more work hours and cuts in pay and vacation time from employees at fucked-several-different-ways newspaper Newsday. The union says the "horrible" contract was the best it could get. Probably true, sadly.

In your Arctic Monday media column: Johnny Apple's wine lives on, the Dallas Morning News jets further off its cliff, Tina Brown luvs David Denby, and Bloomberg will soon own everything.

If New York Post editor Col Allan is indeed contemplating "retirement" at the ripe old age of 57, as New York's Gabriel Sherman reports, his departure would cap off a decade of colossal editorial and business embarrassments for the paper.

David Carr thinks the coming Apple Tablet will be the dying print media's holy grail, "saving some embattled print providers from doom." E-media may in fact finally save newspapers. By killing paper. [NYT]

Gabriel Sherman is tweeting that New York Post editor Col Allan is "considering retirement," according to NYP sources. What might this mean for the Post's lovable "angry drunk" journalism style? If you know more, email us. UPDATE: Col Allan responds:

In your last 2009 media column (crying all around): Scientologists now practice their nuttery journalism-style, E&P closes, Tim Tebow ready to lead Christian Soldiers against Fox, and Regis returns!

Way back in October of aught-eight, we published the Gawker Guide to a Journalism Career. Lots of things have changed since then. For the worse, mostly! Time for an update. Aspiring journalists and other masochists, read on.

They weren't bad posts, just misunderstood. Nevertheless, we wrote them and you didn't want to read them. Ladies and gentlemen, these are the least popular Gawker posts of 2009.

The dying Washington Times laid off something like 40% of its staff yesterday, including almost all Sports and Metro staffers, most photo staffers, the managing editor, and Wonkette pal Liz Glover. Lean and mean for another decade of domination! [WP]

In your democratic Wednesday media column: Letters to the editor are alive and well, the Washington Times sports section teeters, Hu Shuli rebounds, and Carl Kasell takes up whittling.

In your windswept Tuesday media column: Mexico is all fucked up, the NYT is too stingy for its own good, E&P may be saying goodbye for good, and Sam Zell's still golden.

In your barren Monday media column: wine journalism going the way of wino journalists, a young lady makes a magazine for Christians, Romenesko got jokes, and pay walls cometh.

In your merry maudlin Monday media column: Changes on the NYO's political beat, Washington Post copy editors are a joke, a flack named Flack, and a reporter braves Wal-Mart, for journalism.

In your freezing Friday media column: Greg Mitchell goes rock-n-roll, 2009 was a dangerous year for reporters, Ted Koppel still chilling out, and your daily local newspaper wingnuttery.