The Onion this month told staff that resisting advertiser pressure is a "losing game." But it seems the humor publication isn't just keen to sell its soul to sponsors; we hear The Onion is talking about selling everything.

The New York Post is facing a demand for retraction from Debbie Rowe's attorney over a story in today's paper, and it's choosing an odd way to defend itself: By relying on the reporting of its arch-rival, the Daily News.

In your tragic Tuesday media column: the ad slump is *almost* over, the NYT Co. sells its classical music station, an act of God stops Bob Woodruff in Iraq, and a eulogy for a murdered Complex magazine intern.

In your superior Monday media column: the internet fights with the old media and wins (sort of), an old man makes comical remarks about women, Bob Woodruff returns to Iraq, and the Harvard Business Review is smarter than everyone.

Jared Kushner, boy wonder real estate scion and New York Observer owner: watch, as the young man fumbles his newspaper business and insults his staff! Marvel at his father's family-destroying schemes! And, his secret for attracting Ivanka Trump, below!

Recently the Washington Post has taken a beating for attempting to sell access to its newsroom via fancy, elistist "salons." The New York Times has been positively giddy over it. Now the Post's ombudsman has spoken.

In your famous Friday media column: exclusive thoughts from Steven Brill on the future of paid online newspapers, Rebecca Dana gets a new job, newspapers die and thrive, and Bill Keller will never be on the Daily Show again.

Scotland Yard now says that it will not investigate allegations published in The Guardian that Rupert Murdoch's UK tabloids illegally hacked into the cellphones of public figures. Boo! However: the victims may sue. You'll be amazed who one victim was!

In 2008 the New York Times shut down its printing facility in Edison, New Jersey, laying off hundreds in the process. A reader wrote in tonight saying that the building is right now in the process of being demolished.

At long last, the New York Times may have figured out how to make money off its website: by charging for it.

The Onion is hurting badly. And CEO Steve Hannah has already gleaned a lesson from the downturn, explained in the memo after the jump: resisting advertisers is a "losing game."

In your commendable Thursday media column: Nick Kristof is the perfect columnist except for his writing, the NYT acknowledges its photo scandal, USA Today teaches us how to write a story that adds up to zero, and Lenny Dykstra's bankrupt.

British authorities are launching an investigation into allegations that Rupert Murdoch's UK newspapers paid more than $1.5 million in hush money to try to cover up the fact that they were illegally hacking into cell phones in pursuit of stories.

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: the WSJ takes on the NYT's culture section in a total death match, TV networks not upset they lost $23 in ad money covering MJ, more Hobo New York Times coverage, and newspapers burn.

Hobo broadsheet the New York Times, last seen telling its reporters that text messages are too expensive, has found another way to save precious nickels: getting freelancers to pay their own reporting expenses. With virtual panhandling!

Last weekend the New York Times Magazine published a beautiful set of photos of abandoned buildings and such, as a chronicle of the end of the gilded age. Now they've pulled them for probably being Photoshopped. Fakery!

Maximilia "Ava" Cordero, alleged underage lover of billionaire perv Jeffrey Epstein, sued the New York Post two years ago after it ran a story saying she was born a man, and was slutty. The decision is in! Sexlaw frontiers, here.

An intern at the Colorado Springs Gazette has been fired for lifting passages from the New York Times and placing them in stories she wrote for the newspaper.

In your failure-prone Tuesday media column: The Printed Blog does not revolutionize the media, the Washington Post investigates endlessly, the newspaper industry declines more than 100%, and—what's this?—the City of New York wants to give money to you!

How can a newspaper near the heart of Silicon Valley win readers back from the Web? With a new $200 million-plus plant for printing the news on top of dead trees. Welcome to the future!