Conde Nast has always been able to afford the luxury of publishing money-losing magazines, thanks the other half of their parent company—the Newhouse newspaper chain—subsidizing them with cash. Those days are gone. Now, a cable company is all that keeps Conde afloat. And the Newhouse family's getting antsy:

Someone placed a personal ad in the Warren (Penn.) Times-Observer calling for Barack Obama's assassination. But to understand the ad you have to know history and stuff, so no one at the paper really got it. It's kind of like The Da Vinci Code.

In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else:

Yesterday, executives from most of America's biggest newspapers held a hush-hush meeting about the future of their dying industry. Isn't that basically, obviously, a huge violation of antitrust laws, probably? No, thanks to the corporate freedom-supporting Supreme Court!

Right this minute, executives from the largest newspaper companies in America are meeting in a hotel outside of Chicago to discuss how to "Monetize Content." Is this the first step towards a (necessary) industry-wide move to charge for online content? And, uh, is this legal?

In your misty Thursday media column: no bunnies for Richard Branson, no viewers for NBC, a shot at enlightenment for America's dumb children, and—finally—a classy new porn mag:

We were born 100 years too late. In the Times' "TimesMachine," you can read about the glorious life you might have been living in 1909, when, on this day, the paper featured a Senator's attack on a Times reporter and the election of President Taft's son into Skull and Bones.

Staff favorite Tom McGeveran has been named the *interim* successor to departing New York Observer editor Peter Kaplan. Hopefully the paper lasts long enough for him to become the full-time successor.

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: Richard Branson's allegedly stalking Playboy, dead mag foto fun, more ominous signs on the NYT's Social Media Editor, and gag outsourcing is the new "let's hope it doesn't turn into real outsourcing":

This week, a former New York Times editor revealed that the NYT got handed the Watergate storywell before the Washington Post had it, but they just...forgot about it, or something. Now the full scope of this foolishness is coming out; the comedy of errors continues to this day:

The New York Post cannot contain its excitement about our new Hispanic Supreme Court nominee! The millions of Hispanic people in NYC are encouraged to pick up a copy right away, and celebrate! The white rednecks of NYC are also encouraged to pick up a copy, for routine conservative sneering.

Today the New York Times named Jennifer Preston its first-ever "Social Media Editor." We speculated she would do comical stuffy-NYT-meets-freewheeling-internet activities like cracking down on newsroom Twitterers (and maybe trying out this "Twitter" herself?). We were correct:

In your suddenly Tuesday media column: Conde Nast moves its B-team, Larry Hackett despises humanity, and print is dead, along with baseball and apple pie and puppies:

The New York Times is charging face-first into the digital age! They're appointing a "Social Media Editor." It's Jennifer Preston, former editor of the recently-folded Regional Sections! Could this be the beginning of the end of the Golden Age of NYT Twittery? [UPDATED below]:

In your practically-weekend Friday media column: Playboy could be yours, Michael Kinsley wants to fight newsweeklies, a new type of journalism that will fail, and the police department will run your local paper OR ELSE:

Jennifer Steinhauer is the L.A. Bureau chief for the New York Times. Her husband is Times television reporter Ed Wyatt. Steinhauer's having a book party in LA tonight for her new novel, Beverly Hills Adjacent. The location of the party: the home of Sony Pictures CEO Michael Lynton. What?

In your bad-itudinal Thursday media column: Seymour Hersh hates newspapers, Paste Magazine makes bank, journalists deserve to be paid a mere pittance, and MissBehave's final goodbye email to staffers, which is not a very good one:

This note went out to NYT staffers yesterday evening, in the wake of Tommy Friedman having to return a $75K speaking fee, because Tommy Friedman cannot read:

What's the worst part of the decline of newspapers? Oh maybe it's all the innocent people who will DIE. Every time you don't buy a paper you practically slip the noose around a condemned man's neck!

Eric Schmidt now says Google thought about buying a newspaper but rejected the idea as "crossing the line" between technology and content. The real message for newspaper hacks: You're just not profitable. Compared with, say, TV and movies.