In your warming Wednesday media column: Steve Forbes is in your pocket, insulting your bosses in your competitor's paper may damage your career, somebody fucking finally does not write an Obama book, and much more!:

Media minutiae feud alert! The combatants: Selena Roberts, former star NYT sports reporter now at Sports Illustrated; and her former paper. Did the Times try, and fail, to take her down, journalistically? Details! [UPDATED]:

• Portfolio isn't over and done with, after all: An affiliate of Condé Nast—based in Charlotte, weirdly—plans to revive the magazine's website. [NYO]
• Josh Marshall has accepted Maureen Dowd's apology for swiping some of his copy; and Dowd's new column today is Marshall-free, thankfully. [TPM, NYT]
• Upfronts 2009: What the CW and CBS have in store for the fall. [THR, THR]
• Is Jann Wenner looking to poach Condé Nast honcho David Carey? [NYM]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller says Google is the paper's "frenemy." [NYO]
• CNBC's Jeff Macke had a meltdown on the air yesterday. [Gawker]

Heir to the NYT throne and lowly metro reporter A.G. Sulzberger heard someone say: "This is the Cage. You have to seriously be a baller to come here." A.G. Sulzberger is one such baller!

In your total ripoff Tuesday media column: the worst media internship offer in at least a couple days, flackery invades the media (moreso), and a J-school student would rather not help solve a murder:

In your job-searching Monday media column: Looking for work: college professors, Harvard Crimson editors, ombudsmen everywhere. Finding work: portly gossipmongers. All's well!

• Monthly mags continue to suffer: Ad pages have dropped by 23 percent on average, although the situation is particularly dire at Condé Nast. [NYP]
• Maureen Dowd landed in a bit of hot water after it was revealed she'd "borrowed" from blogger Josh Marshall for her op-ed column yesterday. She's since offered a (dubious) explanation and apology. [E&P, HP, Politico]
• Television networks start selling ads for the fall season today as part of upfront week, although the economy is putting a damper on things. [NYT]
• Despite few successes and many failures, NBC golden boy Ben Silverman still has a job. For how much longer, though, is anybody's guess. [NYT]
• Angels & Demons was No. 1 at the box office with a $48 million haul. [WSJ]
• If you can't find Newsweek on newsstands, that may be because the magazine has totally redesigned itself. [Newsweek, WaPo, HuffPo]

Maureen Dowd will get off penalty-free for (she says) accidentally plagiarizing a paragraph of Josh Marshall's material. Fine by us! Can the New York Times stop pretending the internet is ripping it off, now?

This memo went out to the relatively small newsroom staff at the International Herald Tribune in Paris, from executive editor Alison Smale and NYT exec Marty Gottlieb, asking the staff there to voluntarily donate their unused vacation days and/ or 5% of their salaries, to help the paper survive financially and avoid layoffs. Wow.

In your fuckin' Friday media column: the 'Do Not Feed Carson Daly' sign is ignored, rumors (now confirmed) of Brandweek's disintegration, and reporters want money from everyone, including Warren Buffett:

• The New York Times is now thinking of charging consumers for access to its web site, although doing so would be "tricky," says Bill Keller. Indeed. [NYT]
• There are some signs of further trouble at Forbes. [NYP]
• Martha Stewart is going to see if she can charge for online videos. [WWD]
• Advertisers are looking to channel recession-related outrage. [NYT]
• NBC has renewed Last Call with Carson Daly. Unfortunately. [THR]
• Did David Geffen really consider taking a stake in the Times? [NYP]
• Jay Leno's last guest on The Tonight Show: Conan O'Brien. [NYDN]
• Suze Orman is having her "moment," in case you weren't aware. [NYT]
• Is the Jon & Kate drama good news or bad news for TLC? [TDB]
• Brian Williams is still a Jersey boy, or so it would seem. [The Awl]

So far the possible financial saviors of the New York Times are a shady Mexican billionaire, a shady Hollywood billionaire, and a plan to give free t-shirts to anyone who donates. Anyone see a problem?

If all you newspaper reporters don't stop Twittering every goddamn thing you see, Bill Keller is seriously going to lose his shit. Can you put down the iPhone so we can have a meeting here?

Give the newspaper bosses this much: In their desperation to fix their dying businesses, they are going after logical targets. Google's rise has exactly nothing to do with their fall — but Google has money.

In your dire Thursday media column: Us Weekly starts a war, America refuses to watch gay broadcasters, "I.D." is the unluckiest magazine name, and North Korea will try the US reporters it snatched:

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—the most powerful man in food, in his own way—is leaving the restaurant beat to become a writer-at-large for the NYT magazine. This memo just went out:

In your action-packed Wednesday media column: Paste Magazine's teetering, Thai newspapers are bloody, Jonah Goldberg whines foolishly, WSJ warns staffers about Twitter doom, and much more!

Maybe some NYT editors are not aware that one A.G. Sulzberger is only um their future boss, okay??????? Because they have him writing the most inane stories in the entire paper. Today: Bus cords.

In your countercultural Tuesday media column: Gay porn mags fold en masse, Chevron is evil as usual, Slate deems women capable of running their very own blog, and prison radio kicks ass:

• Jim Dolan's Cablevision says that Newsday is not for sale, which is good since there isn't a company on the planet that wants to buy it. [E&P]
• David Geffen made an offer to acquire the stake in the New York Times Co. controlled by Phil Falcone's Harbinger fund; Harbinger passed. [Fortune]
• The mood isn't too upbeat at the Cannes Film Festival, unsurprisingly. [THR]
• 60 Minutes' segment on Anna Wintour should air this Sunday. [Gawker]
• As of the publishing biz didn't have enough to worry about, "web pirates" are now posting copies of books on the Internet. [NYT]
• Anderson Cooper's ratings have been on the decline all year. [LAT]
• OK! appears to be dissolving into chaos. [ASSME, Gawker]