Updated: We've heard solid rumors that editors and managers at the New York Times are being told they will be taking a 5% pay cut and the paper is asking for similar cuts from newsroom employees.

In your sun-dappled Wednesday media column: Newspapers crumble like so many sandcastles at high tide, Rupert Murdoch's still rich, Choire has a contest, and J-school is changing. Not enough:

• A new poll finds that one-third of Americans under 40 think The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing "traditional" news outlets. [HP]
• Nickelodeon is asking kids to unplug their TVs and gadgets for a minute on Earth Day to signal "a commitment to helping the environment." Just a minute, though! Then they can go back to filling their heads with mindless junk. [AP]
• CNBC's Larry Kudlow will not be running for the Senate. Crushing! [NYT]
• Ratings for President Obama's telecast last night "showed some audience slippage compared with his two most recent live events." [THR]
• The Chicago Tribune and LA Times are combining their foreign reporters into one unit. Meanwhile, the AJC is cutting 30% of its staff. [E&P, AP]
• How is Twitter going to make money? Good question! [WSJ]
• William Morris is likely to seal a deal with Endeavor this week. [TDB]
• Verizon says it plans to launch its own local TV channel in NYC this summer. It will be just like NY1, minus the incomparable Pat Kiernan, of course. [WSJ]

In your "not really spring" Tuesday column: Obama to meet "bloggers"(??), journalists die while nobody notices, newspapers scrounge for ideas, and Eliot Spitzer's a media darling!:

Last Saturday, the NYT ran a breezy op-ed by Daphne Merkin, blaming widespread willful delusion for the Bernie Madoff debacle. No wonder. Her brother is the scam's biggest sucker.

In your customary Monday media column: Another paper goes online-only, new magazines magically appear, a plagiarism scandal rocks Ocala, and a nice happy WSJ memo:

Brash young New York Times metroblogger and heir to the empire AG Sulzberger is already being allowed to summarize the Sunday news shows. The future of journalism, in more ways than one! [NYT; Pic via]

How in the world can you make an online news site full of foreign coverage profitable these days? With gimmicks! How would you like to speak to a real live reporter, on the telephone?

For years, newspaper executives whined that parasitic bloggers thrived by merely linking to newspaper stories. But they're no longer linking enough: Newspapers now demand Google rig its link-counting system in their favor.

Wow, some nutty investor is actually buying into that harebrained scheme to turn the money-bleeding San Francisco Chronicle into a (purposely) nonprofit paper.

In your finally Friday media column: a paltry offer for the Seattle P-I, Jake Tapper's a twit, arm fetish redux, Baba Wawa looks towards the end, and newspapers....you know:

The New York Times has issued a formal set of standards for their in-house blogs, marking the first time blogs have ever had standards (No "snark"). The latest in a rich history of technomazing ideas!

In your servile Thursday media column: the scoop on Steve Bartelstein, the Singapore Judiciary blows, Eric Holder's willing to help newspapers die slower, which is good, because nobody wants to pay much for one:

• Former president George W. Bush has signed a deal with Crown to publish a memoir. Rumor has it he landed a $7 million advance for the book. [AP, NYP]
• For his part, Barack Obama has two books in the works with Crown. He plans to release an abridged, youth-oriented version of Dreams From My Father as well as write a nonfiction book once he leaves office. [CBS News]
• CNBC's keeping it classy. Larry Kudlow set a dollar bill on fire today. [CJR]
• Jim Cramer is still rattling on about Jon Stewart. [Gawker]
• NBC is planning to launch a "singing competition series" that sounds a lot like—yes, you guessed it—Fox's American Idol. [THR]
• CBS is keeping Two and a Half Men on the air through 2012. [NYT]
• The finalists for the Man Booker International Prize include E. L. Doctorow, V. S. Naipaul, Joyce Carol Oates, Mario Vargas Llosa and Alice Munro. [NYT]
• The noms for the National Magazine Awards are out. [AdAge]
• The cable channel Starz would like to remind you that it exists. [NYT]
• How screwed is the newspaper biz? Here's a pic that sums it up nicely. [BI]

Whatttttttt...a private equity firm has voluntarily purchased a newspaper—presumably in exchange for money! The San Diego Union-Tribune is now owned by a firm that vows to make it "thrive" once more. Sounds fun!

In your outrageously newsy Wednesday media column: a PR conspiracy theory for Us Weekly, updates on Conde Nast layoffs and Interview cheapskate-ness, Steve Bartelstein vanishes, and trade mags start wheezing:

Arianna Huffington is guest-editing the Metro free throwaway newspaper today. It's unclear why, exactly, but the "Arianna Says" commentary bubbles are hilarious.

Some 'What Will Become of Newspapers?' thinkers believe that the iTunes model is the future of the news business. Well, with one software upgrade, paid news is now an iPhone app! Will this matter?

In your socialist Tuesday media column: Nancy Pelosi helps newspapers (symbolically), Courtney Friel says "OMG," rumors of cheapskatism at Interview, and naptime for Jim Kelly:

The mantra of modern lying news executives these days is "Doing more with less." Sure, we have fewer people and pages and dollars, but we'll do more with less! Time for a new motto.