The Memphis Commercial-Appeal posted on its website a publicly available list of citizens who have concealed weapons permits. Did this cause gun nuts to go crazy, terrifying the newspaper's editors? You bet!

In your should-be-a-vacation-day Monday media column: Sam Donaldson's retiring, the Obama administration's hiring (reporters!), Bloomberg is tiring (financially!), and Conde Nast is still Wired-ing!

New York guv David Paterson's proposed tax on porn is having the wonderful effect of uniting conservatives and porn producers. Also it's allowing reporters to hang out in porn stores, "legitimately." Everybody's winning!

The New York Times needed a tough story on Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, to prove its newsroom's independence after borrowing $250 million from the guy. The story's here! But is it tough? Eh.

In your fiery Friday media column: The Post has a bad cover day, Chuck Todd is mad as hell and can't take it any more, a reporter makes the grave mistake of believing the internet, and more!

Weep for the DABA girls: an actual statistical analysis of the New York Times' wedding page reveals that finance guys just aren't getting married as much as they used to. Because they're all fired, probably!

Michael Precker was a seasoned foreign correspondent and family man, "the last guy anyone would have expected to become the manager of a topless joint." The job just seemed more sane than journalism.

New deal at the New York Times: buy an ad, and they'll throw in a free feature story! We kid. But seriously, those fake Amish fireplace ads will save journalism one way or another. [NYT]

In your gale-force Thursday media column: Juan Williams is controversial, more magazines die, Wonkette launches a spinoff, and teen sex remains incredibly popular:

In your almost-Spring Wednesday media column: layoffs at Billboard, Comcast calls the FBI, the continued decline of lunch, and the future of newspapers is here!

• Daily News owner Mort Zuckerman is cutting employee benefits. [NYP]
• Former Self editor and Bernie Madoff victim Alexandra Penney has landed a book deal with Voice, an imprint of Disney's Hyperion Books. [NYT]
• A few photos of Michelle Obama from the new issue of Vogue. [HP]
• How SI's Selena Roberts landed the Alex Rodriguez steroid story. [NYO]
• Former NYDN editor Michael Cooke is leaving Chicago for Toronto. [CT]
• John Grisham is close to signing a big e-book deal with Random House. [WSJ]
• The Justice Department plans to investigate the proposed (and controversial) merger of Ticketmaster and Live Nation. [AP]

It was upsetting enough for employees to hear the New York Daily News was ending its 401(k) contributions (memo below). The jokes about bigwigs' extensive stock holdings only made matters worse.

This is the year of new ideas for saving newspapers! Unfortunately, the main solutions seem to be plagued the one thing that led most people into journalism in the first place: lack of math skills.

In your sumptuous Tuesday media feast: Celebrity mags flounder, interns replace reporters, Ron Burkle's steaming mad, the New Yorker has jokes, and more!

• HarperCollins announced layoffs and a major reorg today. [NYO, Gawker]
• No one wants to take the editor job at OK! [Page Six]
• Ron Burkle's magazine distribution company is suing a bunch of publishing companies for trying to drive it out of business. We should be so lucky. [NYP]
• Michael Kinsley explains why micropayments won't save newspapers. [NYT]
• Time's Walter Isaacson, however, argued the opposite position last night when he appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. [NYO, TDS]
• Hachette is dropping out of the Magazine Publishers of America. [AdAge]
• Live Nation and Ticketmaster have announced plans to merge. [NYT]
• CBS scored big ratings on Sunday thanks to the Grammys. [AdAge]
• A day in the life of Fox News anchor Shepard Smith. [Esquire]

Dear seasoned, aggressive newspaper reporter: Time to let go of that precious "dream" and learn to see the virtue in, say, running a titty bar. The Wall Street Journal's underminers think so, anyway.

Think Barack Obama's Monday-night press conference was about economic policy or endless Mideast war or whatever? Fool. It was the latest round in the White House press corps' endless dick-measuring contest.

US Newspapers laid off 9% of their workers last year.

In your temperate Monday media column: How ABC landed the octuplet-grandma "scoop," yet another plan to save the NYT, journalism lives(?), and a magazine dies (no question):

• Magazine newsstand sales tumbled during the second half of 2008. [NYT]
• The Grammys were seen by an estimated 19.1 million people last night. [AP]
• The Times reports on the Times's recent troubles, conveniently concluding the paper's "positioned itself well to ride out another year of recession." [NYT]
• Steve Brill has a few thoughts on how the Times can save itself. [Poynter]
• Not surprisingly, SI is milking every last dollar out if its swimsuit issue. [WSJ]
• Following the news last week that Universal and DreamWorks were parting ways, Disney announced today it would distribute DreamWorks's films. [THR]
• Jim Cramer's ratings are up; his stock picks are as lousy as ever. [Barron's]
• A Queens hairstylist is suing the Daily News after the paper accidentally identified her as "Manhattan Madam" Kristin Davis. Twice. [Regret the Error]