In your Wednesday media column: Bill Keller's debut column, the NYT paywall approaches, NewsBeast shows staffers the new Newsweek, NPR listeners are unbearable, and Jeanne Moos wants a gold watch, goddamn it.

Superstar blogger (and former New Republic editor) Andrew Sullivan is leaving The Atlantic in April and heading to Newsweek/The Daily Beast, where he will start a blog (and, presumably, print the entire thing out for Tina Brown every day).

"I f—ked too many chicks and did too many drugs, and that's the truth." — George Clooney on why he doesn't have any plans to pursue a career in politics anytime soon. [Newsweek]

To say that Tina Brown is more fond of hype than any other major magazine editor is not necessarily to say anything bad about her; it's just to point out that she is Tina Brown—the editor who pathologically loves to celebrate celebrity. The editor whose Talk magazine launch party defined an entire era of media excess! It's worked for her. But suddenly, she's shy and retiring?

In your crystalline Thursday media column: Regent Media has even bigger money troubles than usual, News Corp is doing well, the new Newsweek is floating around, another Egypt journo-terror roundup, and rumored layoffs at Forbes.

In your undesirable Wednesday media column: NPR needs another Ellen Weiss, blogs are dead or possibly thriving, the Newsweek-Daily Beast merger is going about as well as expected, and Fox News establishes its priorities.

The Newsweek- Daily Beast merger officially went through today. And, a tipster says, TDB already told "most of the editorial and production assistants they've hired the past few months" that "their jobs are over." Journalism's rough! Know more? Email me.

In your stuffed Monday media column: Tina Brown is making power moves, Hearst is making Hachette employees nervous, a PBS show may get canceled, Phish fans invade the media, and The Atlantic Wire gets a new boss.

In your wary Monday media column: Newsweek has a "sweeping redesign" coming, Ed Rendell vs. 60 Minutes, Piers Morgan will have at least one good week, post-"Giffords Dies" soul searching, and The Daily is nearly here.

In your congratulatory Thursday media column: Jake Tapper wins the Game of TeeVee, News Corp cleans up its UK tabloid, Star and the National Enquirer merge newsrooms, a new Newsweek publisher, and a new job for Helen Thomas.

Ramin Setoodeh, the Newsweek writer who wrote an article about how gay actors can't convincingly play straight last spring and got in huge trouble with all the gay folks, is back poking at that third rail again, defending himself anew.

In your magical Monday media column: David Carey welcomes himself to Hearst, the NewsBeast gets delayed, Pat Kiernan's website is in danger, David Carr has predictions, and newspaper companies are the stock market's biggest coin flip.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is currently holed up in an English country mansion, fighting extradition to Sweden where he faces a sex crime investigation. What better time for Newsweek to publish an exclusive photo gallery: "Christmas with Julian?"

"Did a lot of girls contact you and your brother after the movie?" Newsweek asked Social Network villain Tyler Winklevoss. His response was a series of flustered giggles and awkward stammering.

Newsweek just might get a fancy new office. This memo went out to employees this afternoon:

Newsweek's new international editor is Tunku Varadarajan. Here are his thoughts on Muslims.

In your vacation-ready Wednesday media column: Jon Meacham's really nice, Cathie Black's tentative future, Howard Stringer's name gaffe, Glenn Greenwald vs. The Nation, and very fine hackery.

Let us explain. The hagfish is a blind, slimy, deepwater eel-like creature that darts into the orifices of its prey and devours them, alive, from the inside. Which is what Tina Brown is doing to Newsweek.

The Observer reports Newsweek and The Daily Beast will officially announce that they're merging tomorrow morning. Finally!

The Daily Beast- Newsweek merger talks collapsed last month, followed by mild trash talk on both sides. Well: now the merger discussions are reportedly back on. Again! Newsweek is destined to flounder forever! Just hire someone, anyone! Christ. [NYP]