Couldn't get a Twitter book deal like Nick Douglas, Twitterature, or business huckster Garyvee? Don't fret! Thanks to TweetBookz you don't even need a deal to see your precious 140-character musings on paper. Congrats! You're an author.

Heavens knows what they would think if Stewart just transmitted their intimate off-camera comments to the entire world. The likes of Snoop Dogg might not trust her with their deepest secrets anymore. No, better to keep the Martha Stewart Twitter an occult bible of hellish fire pits opening on the surface of the Earth. Douglas can keep hawking TwitterWit, his printed collection of amusing tweets; Stewart seems more likely to buy — or publish — something along the lines of TwitterWoe.

You have to admire the online chutzpah of HarperCollins and Nick Douglas. Having sourced the contents of Twitter Wit entirely for free from the microblogging service, the publisher is now attempting to crowdsource its marketing campaign. And so boldly!

Publishers release "advance copies" for the Literary Elite to have before the masses/Oprah ruins them for you. Being spotted with one sometimes merits "status"...that we're about to ruin. Today's selection is TwitterWit, The Big Book of Collected Tweets!

AT&T, for reasons unknown at this point, has blocked user access to portions of 4chan, the online hangout for the world's most notorious cyber-terrorists. And they thought iPhone customers were a pain in their ass! This will end badly.

First came former Valleywag Nick Douglas' Twitter book deal with HarperCollins, followed within a month by New York Times columnist David Pogue and his similar compilation of tweets for O'Reilly. Now Pogue is trying to leapfrog.

A Daily Show host weirded himself out a little bit; a San Franciscan had pizza envy and Doree Shafrir discovered a yoga mat that automatically raises your blood pressure. The Twitterati were flabbergasted.

Anil Dash, Glenn Feischman and Nick Douglas created a parallel, imaginary Apple conference and Xeni Jardin met a very strange CNN producer. Life was surreal for the Twitterati.

Go ahead Harper Collins, dispatch Valleywag and Gawker alum Nick Douglas to root out the genius behind Awkward Family Photos, your next Urban Outfitters coffee table book deal.

In the '90s, the Web cognoscenti joked about doing crack. But New York Times columnist David Carr actually did crack! Which might explain his befuddlement in this clip from the SXSW Interactive conference in Austin.

We'll concede that former Valleywag Nick Douglas is, in our limited experience, among the wittiest Twitter users out there, and an entertaining chronicler of internet culture. But, really, $50,000 for his book of re-tweets?

That's what our New York publishing source tells us Douglas netted as an advance from his publisher, HarperCollins, for TwitterWit, his collection of other people's microblogging posts. Though he's not writing much original content for the project, Douglas assured us that slogging through submissions — want your tweets to LIVE FOREVER? click here — was pretty, uh, draining, "like watching five hours of porn: your sense of humor dies halfway through."

What recession? More than 10,000 revelers are expected for this year's SXSW Interactive conference in Austin, Texas this week. With no real work at hand, they're hitting the parties hard — especially the unofficial ones.

Today in Twitter, Spanish speakers confused Karen Tumulty, Touré was ready to sell out, Nick Douglas needed the money more, Bonnie Fuller believes celebrities and Patrick Gavin saw the bright side of soup kitchens.

HarperCollins is paying Nick Douglas a five-figure sum for Twitter Wit, a book of the Gawker alum's favorite Twitter posts. Is getting paid for aggregating other people's "tweets" as lazy as it sounds?

Every communication medium, from the telegraph to instant messaging, develops its own peculiar lingo. But the lingo of Twitter, the status-updating tool which has infected Internet hipsters, media types, and Hollywood, is ahistorically vile.

It was only two and a half years ago that Nick Denton launched Valleywag, Silicon Valley's tech gossip rag, at a time when the Internet hadn't yet resumed its froth. From the first, Paul Boutin and I were working for Nick Denton for free, feeding launch editor Nick Douglas tips and quips. As Denton wore us down, we both become official employees of Gawker Media. A bubble and a bust later, we're still here. At least through the end of the month — after which, I'll be the Valleywag both here and on Gawker.com, and Paul will no doubt return to his sub rosa role as advisor and instigator. Same party, different venue. Do tag along! (Photo by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid)

Sure, it's just a bunch of disgruntled kids at legendary San Francisco after-work bar House of Shields slinging tech slang and calling into question the reductionism ideal for deal making in the Valley. But few of the ideas presented at interface designer Eris Stassi and author Paul Carr's hastily assembled "Smack My Pitch Up" were so farfetched as to be unbelievable. In the poorly-shot video above, the three finalists join Calacanis Cup winner and founding Valleywag editor Nick Douglas in presenting business ideas to change the world, from prostitute-tracking plans (thankfully preempted by prior art) to a community-oriented embrace of institutional buggery. It wasn't pretty, but then paying for an emo kid's suicide in order to offset your carbon footprint, as winner GreenSuicides.com suggests, never is.

Programming Django isn't quite the same as dropping Dorothy Parker quips at lushed-out parties, but Pownce cofounder Leah Culver's line last night warmed even my cynical heart. Scene: We were mobbed briefly around the photo booth at 330 Ritch, former gay bathhouse and setting for the public launch of Yahoo's location-based mobile social thing, Fire Eagle. "Melissa, I want you to meet Cal Henderson," she said, presenting Flickr's head of engineering. "He's a fan ..."And here Mr. Henderson shook my hand and didn't mind at all when I said it was really his longtime companion Tom Coates, part of the Fire Eagle team and old queer hand of the blogosphere, whom I came out to meet. "We're here in my circle of exes," Culver continued. "And I have one to toss back at you," I added. The rest of the evening is lost in a botched Flip video file sync — no footage for you — and a flurry of text messages wherein I tried to locate the guy getting a handjob in the men's room at the end of the night. No help from Fire Eagle there! Tip me if you know who the lucky jack was? (Photo by Andrew Mager)

Vancouver-based NowPublic is ostensibly all about citizen journalism. But since Guy Kawasaki sold Truemors to it and signed up as an advisor, it's becoming better known for publishing flattering lists of "influencers," supposedly ranking them according to various social media metrics. The first "Most Public" list focused on New York, but a new list for the Valley and San Francisco is "coming soon." And by virtue of being included in the latest edition, we received an early copy as a press release. Who comes out on top? Ubiquitous attention slut Robert Scoble, naturally. Full list after the jump.

"Did you sleep with Violet Blue? I can't keep track," my editor IM'd me. He's not nosy; he's just trying to stay on top of things. To help him — and you — out, I've dashed off this sex map of l'affaire Boing Boing, including my own involvement. (Why didn't Xeni Jardin just do this in the first place? In retrospect, that seems easier than taking the abuse she's now getting.) Jardin thinks blogging one's personal life is "stupid," but then, I get to report for an operation where my seriously gay editor factchecks the difference between "lesbian" and "girl-on-girl." And if we're fucking the people we're reporting on, we'll tell you. So no, I did not sleep with Violet Blue. Even though she asked.