♦ New York takes a long look in this week's issue at The Box, Simon Hammerstein's infamously sleazy club. Don't read it if you're eating or you're easily offended by tales of snot and/or raw sewage. [NYM]
♦ Fresh trouble for the Cipriani family: The head of the State Liquor Authority, Daniel Boyle, says an aide to Governor Paterson tried to "intimidate" him into renewing the family's liquor licenses. [NYP]
♦ Opening this week: Macao Trading Co., brought to you by the team behind Employees Only; Carroll Gardens' Buttermilk Channel; and Perle on Pearl Street. [NYM]
♦ The Observer has put up its list of top 10 new bars. [NYO]

You'll recall that The Box owner Simon Hammerstein was accused of pressuring burlesque performers into three-ways, stashing them in dog-feces-strewn dressing rooms, pushing drugs on them and leaving welts on their assess. He denied most of the charges, and denies them again in this week's New York, backed up this time by some employees. But the magazine also dug up fresh information on the boozing, degenerate performances and sexual favor-trading that allegedly goes on at the nightspot:

♦ Rumor has it Robert De Niro's Ago in Tribeca will be shutting down to make way for a new project by Jean-Georges Vongerichten. [Eater]
♦ John Dory hasn't opened yet, but the restaurant's reservation line has and it's booked through December 4th. [GS]
♦ Eric Ripert's suggestions on where to find the best fish tacos in NYC. [GS]
♦ Brother Jimmy's is being sued by a woman who says she was "engulfed in flames" after a bartender's stunt went wrong. [NYP]
♦ New York waiters report customers have been tipping less since the recession began. [GS]

♦ Frank Bruni delivered a zero-star review to Kurve in today's Times. After complaining about the puzzling service and frequent menu substitutions, he wonders how any restaurateur could "pour this much money and this much vanity into a project and bungle it to the extent that the Kurve brigade does?" [NYT]
♦ Noah Tepperberg's plans for the space formerly occupied by Earth weren't approved at a community board meeting last night, but they weren't denied either. [GS]
♦ The early reviews have been mixed for the new tapas bar Txikito. [Eater]
♦ The latest drink trend involves adding a blob of bacteria and yeast to sweetened tea. [NYP]

♦ New York's Adam Platt hands out four stars to Drew Nieporent's Corton this week, praising chef Paul Liebrandt's cuisine as "technically complex without being exhibitionist." [NYM]
♦ David Chang's Momofuku Bakery & Milk Bar opened on Saturday. Grub Street has rounded up the public reception. [GS]
♦ A handful of spots including Marquee and the Tribeca Grand have been denied permits by the State Liquor Authority to stay open late on New Year's Eve. [NYP]
♦ A detailed history of the epic battle between Da Silvano's Silvano Marchetto and Bar Pitti's Giovanni Tognozzi. [Page Six Magazine]

♦ Former Country chef Willis Loughhead has signed on as executive chef of Table 8 inside the Cooper Square Hotel. The restaurant is expected to open in January. [The Feedbag, Eater]
♦ The 10 best places to go on a cheap dinner date in NYC. [NYO]
♦ To celebrate ten years in business, Café Boulud is debuting a new $75 five-course menu. [The Feedbag]
♦ A few impressions from Txikito's opening last night. [Strong Buzz]
♦ Gael Green offers up her take on Thomas Keller and Grant Achatz's 20-course dinner at Per Se the other night. [GS]
♦ Village Pourhouse near Columbia is testing out a novel way to lure customers to 109th Street: Take a cab to the bar, save your receipt, and the bartender will "match your cab fare in the form of a bar tab." [The Feed]

♦ Alex Raij, the former chef at Tia Pol (left), is opening her 28-seat tapas bar named Txikito (pronounced chee-KEE-toe) tonight. [GS]
♦ A play-by-play of what went down at Thomas Keller and Grant Achatz's $1,500-per-person dinner at Per Se on Tuesday night. [NYT, NYT]
♦ Another look inside David Chang's forthcoming Momofuku Bakery & Milk Bar, which is set to open on Saturday morning at 8 a.m. [Eater]

♦ Frank Bruni had the economy in mind when he visited Market Table on Carmine Street: The restaurant earns two stars for its reasonably priced menu and comforting atmosphere that's like a "wool blanket, emphasizing good sense over high style." [NYT]
♦ David Bouley's Bouley will be closed tonight in preparation for its re-opening tomorrow at 163 Duane St. [Zagat]
♦ We though the lousy economy was killing off ridiculously silly ideas. Apparently not. The dude responsible for Guest House and Home is opening Greenhouse, New York's "first environmentally-friendly club," tonight. [NYP]

♦ Tonight is the night for Thomas Keller and Grant Achatz's 20-course, $1,500 dinner at Per Se, and despite the bad economy, it's completely sold out. [NYT, NYT]
♦ A Q&A with chef Seamus Mullen, whose long-awaited Boqueria Soho finally opened last night. [Metromix, Eater]
♦ Christopher Lee will depart Gilt at the end of the year to take over as Auerole's executive chef. [NYT]

New York City's dirtiest bars, according to one blogger: 1. Mars Bar in the East Village; 2. American Trash on the UES, 3. Billymark's West on 29th Street; 4. Rawhide in Chelsea; 5. Welcome to the Johnson's. The full top 10 list is here. [Meet Live Now via EVG]

♦ Adam Platt visits Irving Mill (left) and Inside Park at St. Bart's for New York this week. Chef Ryan Skeen's "meaty, calorie-rich repertoire" earns two stars for Irving Mill, but Platt is a little less enthusiastic about Inside Park, which gets a single star on account of the "eerie" atmosphere and despite his description of the food as "generally first-rate." [NYM]
♦ Eater has pics of David Chang's new Momofuku Bakery/Milk Bar, which may open next week. [Eater]

♦ A peek inside Elsa, which will be the only bar in the East Village to serve beer out of an antique sewing machine (as well as sell bespoke suits) when it finally opens next Tuesday. [Eater]
♦ Tickets are still available for this year's Chocolate Show on Pier 94, which started today and continues through the weekend. [GS, Metromix]
♦ Grub Street has put together a guide to restaurant recession specials across the city. [GS]

♦ Momofuku's David Chang is opening a "bakery and milk bar" in the next few weeks. It'll offer up a selection of flavored milks, soft-serve ice cream, and desserts. [Eater]
♦ The West Village restaurant Charles, which opened less than a month ago, has already lost its chef, John McAllister. [Feedbag]
♦ Former Tia Pol chef Alex Raij plans to open a tapas bar on Ninth Avenue this fall. [The Feed]
♦ Frank Bruni weighs in on Irving Mill and says he feels "blessed" by new chef Ryan Skeen's beef cheek and fatback hamburger, although he's pretty unimpressed with everything else. [NYT/Diner's Journal]
♦ A guide to the best Cuban food in New York. [NYT]

♦ Frank Bruni of the Times visits Bobo this week, and awards one star to new chef Patrick Connolly for his "ambition" and "good intentions," although he also points out that the restaurant "hasn't wholly surrendered its attitude and put service before sheen." [NYT]
♦ The NYPD shut down Serge Becker's "guerilla" election night party at La Esquina last night. [NYO]
♦ Boqueria's Soho location has been granted a liquor license and should be open by next week. [GS]

You've waited two years for this (or maybe you haven't), but if the thought of watching the election returns at home tonight depresses you, rest assured that nearly every bar or restaurant in the city will be tuned into the coverage. Many will be offering silly drink specials and silly live performances, too! After the jump, a long list of events at a bar or restaurant near you where you'll be able to celebrate or mourn, depending on what happens.

♦ Jean-Georges Vongerichten is opening his first "green" restaurant inside ABC Carpet. [NYM]
♦ British chef Fergus Henderson is cooking at Momofuku Noodle Bar tonight as part of his annual "FerguStock" publicity tour through New York City kitchens. [Eater]
♦ New York's Adam Platt tasted seven different coffees and ranked Abraço's the best and Starbucks the worst. [NYM]

♦ Charles, the West Village spot that's been billed as the next Waverly Inn, is opening tonight. [Eater]
♦ A list of 18 spots ideal for fireside dining and boozing. [The Feedbag]
♦ Danny Meyer says sales are up at his budget-friendly restaurants (Shake Shack) while his pricier joints (Tabla, Eleven Madison Park) are beginning to suffer. [GS]
♦ A look inside West Branch, Tom Valenti's Upper West Side Brasserie opening tonight. [Eater]
♦ It's not too late to make Halloween plans: GoaG has a guide to festivities across the city, including a number you're probably not invited to. [GoaG]

♦ John Dory, the Brit-themed seafood shack by April Bloomfield, Ken Friedman, Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich, looks like it's finally opening, possibly as soon as Saturday night. [TONY, Metromix, Eater]
♦ A look inside Center Cut, Jeffrey Chodorow's new restaurant inside the Empire Hotel. [Eater]
♦ Craftsteak and Thom Bar have a few specials in store for election night. [GS]
♦ Momofuku Ssam Bar will cater your Thanksgiving dinner with pork butt and potato puree. [The Feedbag]
♦ If it's any consolation, Tim and Nina Zagat don't think the financial crisis will do much damage to the city's restaurant economy. [WSJ]

What are unemployed bankers doing to pay the bills these days? Meet Bryan Gunderson. He lost his job analyzing structured-equity investments at JPMorgan a few months ago. Now he's learning how to mix up Purple Hooters as a student at the New York Bartending School. Yes, it appears a growing number of people who, just a few months ago, were dropping thousands on bottle service at the city's clubs are the same ones who are now learning how to serve up drinks to other people.

♦ Frank Bruni rather appropriately surveys two "affordable" sushi spots in the Times today. Both Sushi Azabu and Kanoyama get one star apiece, but it's the latter that ultimately wins out: "The breadth of this restaurant's fish selection is thrilling." [NYT]
♦ Stephane Dorian's long-awaited 10 Downing is finally opening tonight for friends and family. It'll open up for everyone else in the next two weeks. [Insatiable Critic via GS]
♦ Is Todd English planning to open a restaurant at 325 Bowery? [Zagat]