Comically unqualified media exec Cathie Black will, in fact, be the next chancellor of NYC's schools.

New York City high school teacher Carlos Garcia was suspended and fined $15,000 for saying "coño" in his class — a Spanish word that can be taken several very different ways. He's suing the city and denies saying it.

This breathtaking compilation includes timelapses of many of your favorite New York City landmarks and is nothing short of epic.

With the Bedbug Apocalypse upon us, inspectors from the NYC housing authority want to buy bedbug-sniffing dogs, according to the Daily News: "It's something we've been looking at as we've seen the violations increase." Too bad they don't really work!

NYPD officers last year fired the fewest shots since the department started keeping records in 1971. Also, for the first time, no officer was shot by a suspect. One off-duty cop was shot and killed by a fellow officer. [WSJ]

Joel Klein, who's been the head of the New York City school system since 2002, is stepping down—to take a job at News Corp. One insane job to another! His replacement: Hearst chairman Cathie Black.

With a camera attached to her head, runner Gwen Schroeder decided to showcase what it's like to run a marathon. Staten Island. Brooklyn. Queens. the Bronx. Manhattan. It's a great tour of the city, some stretches lined with Gatorade cups.

Bill Clinton has renewed his Harlem office lease for another ten years. He's not going anywhere, ladies.

Does this sound familiar? "Respectable" young man who was selling weed out of his pricey apartment gets shot and robbed by weed customers; media coverage ensues. It should—it's happened again. An appropriate celebration for the defeat of weed legalization.

To the standard "Subway nightmares" list of being pushed onto the tracks, sitting on nasty seats, or just embarrassing yourself, we can add: leaning out over the tracks and having a train hit you in the head. It happens.

A new report says that of all the various Latinos in New York, young Puerto Ricans are doing the worst of all, in social categories including graduation rates and poverty. Por que?

A mistrial has been declared in the murder trial of John Katehis, the 18 year-old who confessed to killing veteran newsman George Weber after answering Weber's sex-seeking Craigslist ad. Katehis claims self-defense. [Previously:: Katehis' online photos, profiles]

Shocker: a new study finds that the NYPD's "stop and frisk" program is racially biased and prone to abuse. No! Never! Smear this study, immediately!

Malik Turner, a 40 year-old Manhattan man who works for UPS, is tired of the bar scene and skeptical of internet dating. So he went ahead and posted some very direct personal ads on pay phone booths. Ladies?

Early this morning, 21 year-old Christopher Jusko was stabbed to death in his East Seventh Street apartment in Manhattan. He died on the sidewalk in front of his building. Below is a photo of the aftermath. Warning: It's very graphic.

Many of you have probably had the colorful urban experience of vomiting in a cab, due to drunkenness, intoxication, or just plain alcohol-induced motion sickness. You disgusting lush. How much should a cab driver be compensated for your mess?

62% of NYC residents say they'd stay in the city if given a chance to move. The rest live in Queens.

We told you that tonight's New York gubernatorial debate—with seven participants!—would be crazy, but we could have never anticipated this level of it: watch as Jimmy McMillan, of the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party, uh... introduces himself.

An eleventh suspect's been arrested in the Bronx gay torture case. Lawyers for several of the suspects say they're innocent.

On the outskirts of Queens — from the 80th St A line station — a young man does his best Slumdog Millionaire impersonation and boards the top of a train car. This begs the question, who really runs New York?