We've all dreamed of smashing an ATM to get at the sweet, sweet money inside. But it always seemed like such a hassle. Dragging it behind a car? Messy crowbars? No more! Now you can rob ATMs the easy way.

"Steve," the arborcidal tree branch-ripper of Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, has been arrested. Trees rejoiced.

Last night, the NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission met to discuss possibly designating a building on Park Place, north of Wall Street, as a landmark. Of course, the hearing was not about architecture. It was about saving us from THE OTHER.

Yes, bedbugs are annoying little fuckers. They give you little bites, and make you wash all your clothes and maybe throw out your old couch. If they force a temporary shutdown of Hollister, that's fine. But they're god's creatures too.

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has reportedly had a "major heart attack" in Florida. A "high-placed source" with the Yankees tells the New York Daily News that Steinbrenner has died. UPDATE: The AP also says he's died.

The Agriculture Department rounded up 400 Canada geese in Brooklyn's Prospect Park last week and killed them so they'd stop flying into jet engines. One Brooklyn resident said it looked like the geese had "been Photoshopped out." [NYT; pic]

Radio host Gawker fan Rush Limbaugh sold his New York condo for around $11.5 million (below the $12.95 million asking price) and is leaving town—even after we got him such a nice wedding present and everything! [WSJ]

A new study says that living close to lots of restaurants makes you fat. Funny, since residents of NYC—a restaurant paradise—are known to be the fittest and most attractive Americans of all. I guess we're smarter than average.

In your sweltering (but not sizzling) Wednesday media column: four bidders left for Newsweek, rumors of a Hachette- Hearst joint venture, Time magazine flirts with a paywall, and city hall reporters now work in a trailer, where they belong.

New CNN host and former New York governor Eliot "Socks On" Spitzer thinks his important new show will sweep his hooker-sexing past away, priming him for a run at mayor of NYC when Bloomberg's term ends in 2013. [P6, Getty]

First, the NYC subways rolled out relatively small ads on the outside (and inside) of train cars. In addition to ads on all other MTA property. Now: the first-ever full-train subway ad is here. Get used to it. [NYCtheblog; Pics]

Yesterday marked the end of "rubber rooms," where NYC teachers were sent to wait pointlessly while being investigated for transgressions. Going forward, hot lesbian teachers will presumably be allowed to roam the city, free, unrestrained, and untamed. [NYT, photo: AP]

Earlier this week, prosecutors released portions of a video showing NYPD cop David London beating the hell out of Army veteran Walter Harvin. Now the full video's been released (below). It clearly shows Harvin being beaten after being handcuffed.

Why does Mike Bloomberg hate Mister Softee?

In your odd Tuesday media column: a NYT Magazine freelancer's desperately seeking Wikipedia help, Eliot Spitzer's coming to CNN, an age bias suit against a NYC TV station, and Mike Bloomberg saves the media, no problem.

Queens Republican John Haggerty, "One of Mayor Bloomberg's most trusted campaign aides," has been indicted for stealing $1.1 million from Bloomberg's Election Day fund. A million bucks to Bloomberg is like a nickel to you. He's a flinty bastard. [NYDN]

Albert Trummer, co-owner of the Chinatown bar Apotheke, was arrested by fire marshals Sunday for setting liquor aflame on his bar. Flaming bars outlawed in New York? If only there were some humor to be found here. [NYT. Pic via]

Eliot Hess is a former hippie and current PR firm owner. Terry Borg and Thomas Pienkos are both executives in the Trump Organization. They all live in the same co-op. And their childish, idiotic email war is now big news!

Jay Shells, the artist who brought you the Subway Etiquette posters, is back with a new project: plastic bags dispensed from a painted dog's booty, to encourage pet cleanliness. This street artist is New York's most responsible citizen. [AnimalNY]

The latest in NYC's ongoing terrorism campaign of anti-smoking ads reveals: your lungs are made of bubble wrap, and everyone knows cigarettes pop bubble wrap. Whatever. As long as we can keep all our fingers, we're okay. [Copyranter at AnimalNY]