Chicago writer hates Manhattan for the same reasons New Yorkers hate Manhattan. Chicago: Always second.

New Yorkers are prepared to face anything when they step into a public bathroom, except a crapper that cleans itself. That is too bizarre.

The NYPD shot and killed a CD vendor in Times Square this morning who was not only scamming tourists, but also packing a Mac-10, for chrissake. The reaction of tourists: Awesome!

Today in 'Things That Can Shut Down the NYC Subway System:' Delicate fallen leaves.

The NYC Housing Authority is spending $248 million to renovate two shitty Brooklyn housing projects, while "a developer recently spent...$152 million [building a] condominium tower nearby." Which is probably languishing unsold! Just give everyone a free condo, the end. [NYT.]

Dreary Washington Post media critic Howard "Conventional Wisdom In a Shirt" Kurtz has managed to write a profile of New York magazine that is clueless even by "Howard Kurtz explains NYC" standards. Let's get right into it, okay?

If you want to write an article that gets the people talking, one good way is to just start classifying women in random groups, related to age and hot sexxx. Hot sexxxy cheetah ladies cannot resist this delicious media bait!

Rupert Murdoch is simply a man who likes to fight. End of the psychological profile! He has big plans to fight the New York Times. He has big plans to fight Google. And he could win both.

A 13 year-old Brooklyn boy with Asperger's syndrome got scared of being scolded about school so he spent eleven f'ing days riding the New York subway—alone and undetected—because this world is a cold and heartless place.

In August, artistic nudie model Kathleen Neill was arrested for stripping nude in the Metropolitan Museum, posing for artistic nudie photog Zach Hyman. But now the DA's dropped the case against her—because, guess what, nudity's legal! Lalalalala! Everybody naked!

"I'd rather see more coffee shops and restaurants open than bodegas and nail salons," said one dude opening a coffee shop in Crown Heights, currently home to many bodegas and nail salons. There is so much beef now.

The MTA is cheering up New Yorkers by printing the word "optimism" on millions of Metrocards. *NOTE: "Optimism" should not be interpreted as applying to the state of the New York City transportation system itself. [NYT. Pic via]

Marble-eyed Englishman Jude Law made the mistake of moving into a condo right next door to an NYU dorm. What are you, Jude Law—dumb? Heh. He deals with female fans by throwing produce at them.

Hello, the very latest made-up trend you must know about unless you are some sort of plebe is the simple fact that Midtown is back. According to everybody.

Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter tells the New York Observer that Midtown is back. You know who agrees with him? Catherine Malandrino, and restaurateur Gherardo Guarducci, and Waris Ahluwalia, "the turbaned jewelry designer and fixture in Wes Anderson films," and nightlife photographer Patrick McMullan, and socialite Ann Dexter-Jones, and socialite Bettina Zilkha, and socialite Lisa Anastos, and socialite Derek Blasberg, and fashion designer Prabal Gurung, and Le Caprice owner Richard Caring, and designer Devi Kroell, and gallery owner Neal Grayson.

Here is how cities work: Seedy neighborhood+Gentrification= Only a faint romantic halo of former seediness, which is used for real estate marketing purposes. Any attempt at neighborhood reversion to pre-gentrification standards will be terminated with extreme affluence.

This week is Elevator Safety Week in New York City. Jesus, the timing.

An unidentified male was found dead in NYU's Bobst Library this morning. NYU has an unfortunately well-earned reputation as a hub of student suicides: Six in 2004, five in 2005. UPDATE: Letter from NYU President confirming suicide, below. [WSN]

Chicago thinks it's so fancy with its cartoon-hating Youtube terrorists. Pfft. New Yorkers don't have time for penny ante stuff like that. Nothing less than providing arms to Hezbollah will do for us!

Autistic artist Steven Wiltshire can draw precise, detailed cityscapes after a single viewing of a city. He is incredible. He's currently drawing the New York skyline. You can watch him live. Click through to see a bit of Wiltshire's Tokyo.