Kenneth Moreno and Franklin Mata, the two NYPD officers on trial for allegedly raping a drunk woman in her East Village apartment after being called to assist her, have been acquitted.

Two New York City police officers disciplined for "hooker trouble" are apparently being investigated in relation to the murders of four prostitutes whose bodies turned up on a Long Island beach earlier this year.

The rape trial of NYPD officer Kenneth Moreno, accused of raping a drunk East Village woman in her apartment while he was supposed to be, whattayacallit, protecting and serving, is, at the very least, the source of America's greatest storytelling.

Stern NYC schoolmarm-in-chief Mike Bloomberg is trying to crack down on the practice of NYPD officers making tickets disappear as a favor to friends. Clearly, this is an outrageous assault on the police. Why does Mike Bloomberg hate courtesy?

While it's still, obviously, legal to watch cops ticket a cyclist for riding his bike on the sidewalk, we recommend not cracking any jokes—even at the cyclist's expense—because then you might get arrested. As this gentleman learned.

The NYPD is prepared for Charlie Sheen this weekend. "We have a big police force, we're ready for him," New York Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly declared earlier today when asked about the actor who's in New York for two live shows at Radio City Music Hall this weekend. But like preventing terrorism or ending the spread of syphilis, we're going to need everyone's help to ensure the situation is contained. Yes, that's right, you're expected to do your part. The police can't handle all of the dangers inherent in Charlie Sheen's visit to the Big Apple. Here are some tips on what you can do to help.

Manna from tabloid heaven: Lindsay Lohan is going to trial!

Hours after Chris Brown smashed a dressing room window at Good Morning America, a tipster photographed a man working on the window. But was he repairing it, or preserving it as evidence?

There are times when taser justice is overkill — rushing a baseball field, riding a bike, being a grouchy granny, and so on. But some blatant violations of the law most certainly do deserve a tasering (sometimes with a macing on top). Violations like double parking your car, as 26-year-old Brooklyn security guard Jonathan Zimmerman did outside of his friend's house last April. From the Daily News:

Arrested at the end of 28-hour killing spree that left four people dead, accused murderer Maksim Gelman told the NYPD, "I've had a doozy of a day." [Cityroom]

Alain Schaberger, an 11-year veteran of the NYPD, died on Sunday when he was allegedly shoved over a stoop railing in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn while attempting to handcuff a suspect. Schaberger was attempting to arrest George Villanueva, an ex-convict whose girlfriend had accused him of making death threats earlier in the day; the police officer had apparently placed one of Villanueva's wrists in the handcuffs when the ex-convict, who had been drinking, shoved him with both hands. According to police reports, Schaberger tumbled over the railing, falling nine feet and landing on his head. He fractured his neck, and died in the hospital. Villanueva had been arrested for domestic violence against his girlfriend just a month earlier, on Feb. 4, but his girlfriend refused to press charges. Both Schaberger and Villanueva are 42. [NYDN]

The Post has a must-read EXCLUSIVE in today's paper: NYPD horses are shitting all over the Lower East Side and residents are angry! And the cops won't even clean the shit up, because they say it's "biodegradable." A reporter watched the horses take shits:

The NYPD stopped (and often frisked) 600,000 New Yorkers last year, an all-time high since recordkeeping began in 2002. What percentage of those stops led to an arrest? Seven. Seven percent. The other 93% of the time, the people were not arrested. Because they were not committing any crime. Although they were stopped by the police.

A judge ruled yesterday that the NYPD has to hand over incident reports every time a cop shoots at someone to the New York Civil Liberties Union. The NYPD calls it an "invasion of privacy"of the people they shoot at.

Tired of high-pitched sirens disturbing the quiet peace of the quaint, idyllic burg in which you chose to make your home—New York, NY? Good news. The NYPD is switching from its old screeching siren to a new brand of siren called The Rumbler. It's better because it rumbles!

Officers from the NYPD's Emergency Service Unit have a tough job, taking on some of the most dangerous assignments in New York. But if the last three months are any indication, some of them could use a little gun training.

The NYPD conducted a study about what to do if a co-worker goes postal. If "avoiding the shooter and evacuating immediately" aren't options, hide behind a filing cabinet. Otherwise, attack the shooter with "pens, staples, chair legs." Good to know.

The NYPD shot and killed a record low eight people last year. Good.

City lawyers say the 2008 tasering of a naked, mentally ill Brooklyn man, Iman Morales, by the NYPD was "reasonable," even though he fell to his death from a 10-foot ledge. Reasonable would be, say, pulling the man down. [NYDN]

Some rich New Yorkers are missing a lot of fancy art: In November, thieves carved a hole into the wall of a Greenwich Village apartment from the hallway, disabled cameras and made off with nearly $1 million in modern art.