This Gambian Coup Failed Because the Plotters Were Dumbasses
If you're going to attempt the violent overthrow of a foreign government, it is crucial you don't completely fuck it up. Unfortunately, that's what two American dunces, Cherno Njie of Texas and Papa Faal of Minnesota, did.
During the last days of 2014, Nije and Faal and ten other men tried to take over the entire country of Gambia, which is very small, but not so small that a dozen guys could create a junta on their own. But they tried, and failed, and within a couple hours the whole thing was kaput, per the New York Times:
The plotters, including Mr. Faal, met in the woods near the State House and split into two assault teams, while Mr. Njie waited in a safe place for the attackers to seize control.
The plot went awry when State House guards overwhelmed the attackers with heavy fire, leaving many dead or wounded.
Faal and Njie are American citizens of Gambian descent and were immediately nailed by the FBI after their attack—"purportedly to restore democracy to The Gambia and to improve the lives of its people"—failed. A federal complaint details just how shoddily it was all thrown together.
The coup commandos didn't ever meet to make their plan, but at least they had cool code names:
Only "10-12" dudes actually went to stage the coup in Gambia, a country with a population of around two million:
The guy funding the coup picked "Dave" as his codename, which should have been a HUGE red flag:
The entire coup was hinging on an assumption that Gambian soldiers would immediately start fighting on behalf of this group of 10-12 rando dudes. Also, anyone with the right link could read their plan:
The whole group had to share two pairs of night-vision goggles:
The "plan" was actually just shooting into the air near the Gambian president and hoping he surrendered. That was the entire dumbass plan. But the president wasn't even around:
Then these jerkoffs decided on the spot to attack the State House instead, but it turned out there were more soldiers there than expected, whoops! They got all shot up, duh:
The budget for the coup was only $200,000—a lot of money for, say, a birthday party or a prom dress, but not a lot of money for the armed overthrow of a sovereign government:
After your bad shitty coup goes south, don't inform the spouses of the guys you got killed using the phone number that's on your business card:
Also don't keep your top secret plan in a manilla envelope labeled "top secret" written with a pen:
This all makes for what would probably be a decent Judd Apatow movie, but a very bad and shitty coup d'etat. You probably shouldn't attempt a coup even if you're not an underfunded moron—Margaret Thatcher's son tried and failed, and he had a lot more money and a famous mum. Coups are hard, and it's only fun if you win, and then even if you win you're probably just going to get strangled in your sleep or something, down the line. Who needs it!