Unidentified Dong Dangler Drapes Hundreds of Dildos Around Portland
A specter is haunting Portland—the specter of dildos.
According to Reuters, hundreds of “phallic sex toys” have recently started appearing on Rip City power lines, prompting numerous complaints to the city and several delightful Twitter posts.
#Sex Toys Appear on Portland Street Power Lines http://t.co/TusMvDfdZw #NewsTicker #Toy pic.twitter.com/6m916fOCFK
July 14, 2015
Throwing dildos over the power lines has become a thing in portland. #keeportlandweird They're all over town. pic.twitter.com/FIc1COao27
June 27, 2015
portland oregon is on a high dildo alert pic.twitter.com/LI5TxruB5R
July 12, 2015
But fear not, penily-menaced Portlanders, because officials say the synthetic dicks pose no immediate threat. From Reuters:
A spokesman for public utility Portland General Electric said he did not believe the rubber products posed a fire hazard.
Still, area power companies would prefer you didn’t use their lines as ad hoc nun-chub hangers.
“The temptation may be there for tittering,” a Pacific Power spokesperson told The Oregonian, “but we want to keep the lines as safe as possible.”
