Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz has been doing quite a lot of dildo talk these days.

Yep—that’s a big pink dildo hitting the face of New Zealand’s Economic Development Minister Stephen Joyce at a press conference today. The dildo tosser, identified by the Huffington Post as Josie Butler, was mad about the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

No one ever said it’s easy to take a stand against the federal government: it’s cold, there aren’t enough snacks, everyone is pissy, and a bunch of strangers won’t stop sending you hate mail and dicks.

Back in June, Texas approved a “campus carry” law that would allow anyone with a license to bring a concealed handgun onto the state’s public university campuses. It goes into effect August 1, 2016—that is, unless some good guys with big dildos manage to stop it.

A specter is haunting Portland—the specter of dildos.

In this clip, a CNN anchor and editor fail to recognize that what they have identified as an “ISIS flag” is actually a flag of dildos and butt plugs, rendered in the style of ISIS.

If you try to slip anything past famous masturbation comedian Anna Kendrick, she is going to call you on your bullshit. That's what David Letterman learned when Kendrick felt compelled to point out that a cat toy that appeared earlier in the Late Show was really a furry dildo in disguise.

Writing exactly what happens in the PSA above will kind of spoil the magic, so I'll just say this: It involves two kids enthusiastically sword-fighting with a pair big ol' dildos in the front lawn while their horrified mothers look on.

Pop star and person with a tongue Miley Cyrus, running out of ways to scandalize boring parents, tweeted out a couple of photos of her newest toy this week. It's a dildo the size and shape of a human hand.

Zac Efron is no stranger to getting freaky in sex shops, so it struck a paparazzi as kind of odd that the Disney alum would freak out after being photographed at Fantasy World in the West Village while looking at "an array of glowing dildos."

Those morning-drunk wackadoodles over at the Today Show were just trying to have a fun conversation this morning about funny pictures they'd seen on the Internet, when a big flesh-colored dildo had to butt in and ruin the vibe.

Mitchell Tice, a resident of Florida (of course), was arrested for breaking into his boss' storage locker and stealing two laptops, a wig, and a bag full of dildos. Tice kept the sex toys under his bed, which is how the police identified him as the criminal.

Pleasures, Alabama's drive-thru sex shop, is offering a great Valentine's Day special: Until February 15, customers can swap firearms for store credit. The store's owner, Sherri Williams told AFP, "This way, they can take something that's just lying around and swap it for something they can take home and make love, not war with."

There are so many rules to follow when you're selling a house! Like, don't leave sex toys lying around the bathroom when you take photos for the online listing—the way this realtor did. (Photo is semi-NSFW!)

Krystal Ball dressed as a naughty Santa at a party "right after college." Her then-husband wore a dildo on his nose and leash around his neck. Years later, Krystal decided to run for Congress in Virginia. Guess what happened next?

Archaeologists in Sweden have discovered a stone age antler carving in an "erected-penis-like-shape." Is it an "ancient dildo"? Maybe! It could also be a tool for "chipping flakes of flint." But, come on, that's not as fun. [Live Science]

Today we looked at the potentially fading glory of James O'Keefe, the American Right's go-to agent provocateur. For all the words that can be used to describe the kid, one commenter offered his own succinct description.

Stepping into the cold air of a moonless night, Bella Swan quivered with anticipation for the Twilight: New Moon premiere. Awaiting the film's arrival at a theater near her, she contented herself with a handsome assortment of Edward Cullen-themed objects.

Energetic American Apparel CEO Dov Charney was named "Retailer of the Year" last week, and the anonymous American Apparel ad spoofer jumped right on it. Copyranter found this new poster of Dov holding up what should have been his award: a dildo. Way to stay tied in to the news cycle, spoofer. Larger picture after the jump.