Was There a Gas Leak at the Broadway Opening of "Cats"

The play “Cats” returned to Broadway this week, which is all fine and good, but let’s talking about opening night, the Page Six description of which sounds like the kind of fever dream Mario Lopez might have if he took three Valium with a bottle of Kombucha and fell asleep in the sun.

Here are some of the things that happened:

• Gawker fan Jack Antonoff bought $1,200 worth of “Cats”-themed merchandise while wearing this outfit:

• “He was later spotted at the after-party holding up a giant bag and exclaiming, ‘This is what $1,200 of “Cats” stuff looks like!’”
• Former Daily Show correspondent Mo Rocca, who once gave a motivational speech at my high school in a pair of lime-green pants, was spotted “quietly weeping during ‘Memory.’”
• The racist song got cut and the cats now take selfies.
• Rosie O’Donnell was “starstruck” sitting next to someone named Ken Page.

Mo Rocca, I must report, is not the only one quietly weeping.