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· Porn star Traci Lords, on sex scenes with rival Ginger Lynn: "I was...disgusted by the thought of the upcoming lesbian scene I was supposed to have with this bitch on wheels. The thought of kissing her grossed me out. But I guess it's better than having to fuck a fleshy hairball like Ron Jeremy, I reasoned, still feeling less than lucky." [Page Six]
· Britney Spears sighted defying the Bloomberg smoking ban at Go. [Page Six]
· The bibliophile's event-to-crash tomorrow (ULA? Anyone?) : the P.E.N. literary gala at the Pierre tomorrowco-chaired by Tina Brown. [Page Six]
· Hotel mogul Vikram Chatwal's 5K media company is launching a Kama Sutra-themed lounge called K-space in Midtown next month. [Page Six]
· Eminem's favorite relaxation is a weekly facial at some posh spot in New York or Los Angeles. (That can't be good for his street cred.) [Liz Smith]
· Met catcher Mike Piazza says he still confesses to a priest after every time he and girlfriend former Playboy Playmate Alicia Rickter have sex. Rapper "Ol' Dirty Bastard" is changing his name to "Dirt McGirt." [NY Daily News]