Beyoncé turns 28 today. Mark Ronson is turning 34. Police commissioner Ray Kelly is 68. Congressman Anthony Weiner is turning 45. Hotelier/restaurateur Sean MacPherson turns 45. Paper magazine co-founder David Hershkovits is turning 62. Damon Wayans is 49. Retired baseball player Mike Piazza is 41. And Dr. Drew Pinsky is celebrating his 51st. Weekend birthdays below.

Bernie Kerik, the disgraced former NYC police commissioner, turns 52 today, although we imagine that this year there will be no celebratory hugs from his former boss. Today is also Beyonce's birthday: the singer, actress, and wife of Jay-Z is 27. Celebrity DJ Mark Ronson turns 33 today. One of the many contenders for mayor in 2009, Anthony Weiner, is 44. Mike Piazza is 40. Damon Wayans is 48. And Shar Jackson, the woman gave birth to Kevin Federline's kids before he found Britney to do the job, is 32.

Mike Piazza picked up a $10 million home in Miami recently, but he's still hunting for a new place in New York. According to the Post, Piazza and his wife Alicia are planning to put their Tribeca loft on the market for $6.8 million in September. Piazza picked up the two-bedroom penthouse for $4.1 million in 2004, but now the couple is hoping to expand to a more expansive space. The listing was put on the web briefly earlier this week. It's since been pulled down (and should go back online in the early fall) but we saved the photos for you to look at after the jump.

• It was announced back in February that chef Joel Antunes would depart Atlanta's Joël to take over as executive chef of The Oak Room at the Plaza. Now he's finally closed on an apartment in town. Antunes and his wife Ellen paid $2.036 million for a three-bedroom, fourth-floor apartment (plus a parking space) at 111 Central Park North. [Cityfile]

A reader sends in the following email, which should be filed under Classic Plausible Rumors that, frankly, we really don't want to die:

· Porn star Traci Lords, on sex scenes with rival Ginger Lynn: "I was...disgusted by the thought of the upcoming lesbian scene I was supposed to have with this bitch on wheels. The thought of kissing her grossed me out. But I guess it's better than having to fuck a fleshy hairball like Ron Jeremy, I reasoned, still feeling less than lucky." [Page Six]
· Britney Spears sighted defying the Bloomberg smoking ban at Go. [Page Six]
· The bibliophile's event-to-crash tomorrow (ULA? Anyone?) : the P.E.N. literary gala at the Pierre tomorrowco-chaired by Tina Brown. [Page Six]
· Hotel mogul Vikram Chatwal's 5K media company is launching a Kama Sutra-themed lounge called K-space in Midtown next month. [Page Six]
· Eminem's favorite relaxation is a weekly facial at some posh spot in New York or Los Angeles. (That can't be good for his street cred.) [Liz Smith]
· Met catcher Mike Piazza says he still confesses to a priest after every time he and girlfriend former Playboy Playmate Alicia Rickter have sex. Rapper "Ol' Dirty Bastard" is changing his name to "Dirt McGirt." [NY Daily News]

The 646 Guy has taken a shot at a few of Musto's blind items. To Musto's question, "is it true about the weatherman and the baseball player?" he responds, "I dunno but can I watch? I'm going with (predictably) Sam Champion as the weatherman (although I wouldn't mind it being John Marshall from Channel 4 and I'm pretty certain it's not Al Roker). As for the baseball player, I could be trite and say Mike Piazza but I won't. I'm going to go with Jason Giambi just because I'm pretty damn sure it can't be him but a man has to dream."