This image was lost some time after publication.

According to the LA Business Journal (via The Malibu Times), with a net worth of $4.3 billion, entertainment mogul/public beach gatekeeper David Geffen is the richest man in Malibu. Huzzah! Unfortunately, the announcement was tinged with sadness, as the congratulatory parade of rent-boys sent to Geffen by the Malibu Chamber of Commerce was tragically gunned down by an overzealous zealous member of the Gay Mafia don's security detail for marching too close to Geffen's compound without authorization. (Really, they should've called ahead.) If Geffen plans on wearing the "Malibu's Richest Man" sash the parade was attempting to deliver, he's going to have to send it out to the dry cleaner. Those blood stains are a bitch to get out.