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• Prepare your feeble gullets and blue-collar livers for the triumphant glory of Trump: The Booze: The Poster! [Defamer]
• Times Boldfacer Campbell Robertson does his best to grapple with the disintegration of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's marriage, especially since Simpson told Boldface in September that her marriage was solid. Don't take it personally, but, yes, honey, she lied to you. She lied to all of us. [NYT]
• Actor Ralph Fiennes considers suing the Post after a Page Six item claimed he was "canoodling" with Gina Gershon at a recent rock show. Since we got that same press release from the venue and "canoodling" was nowhere in the original item, we'd have to venture that some Posties may be guilty as charged. [LA.com]
• Perplexed over the appropriate holiday gift for someone you've just started dating? Don't be — everyone loves Christmas anal. [NY Sun]
• Finally, a Thrillist suggestion we can get behind: feed the fratboys poisonous fish. [Thrillist]