Late on Saturday night, amid Donald Trump’s ongoing feud with Gold Star parents Khizr and Ghazala Khan, the New York Post, which endorsed Trump in April, published several nude photographs of the candidate’s wife. “THE OGLE OFFICE,” the Post’s Sunday edition punned.

Perhaps you believe that the millennial generation is filled with self-obsessed dolts. An editorial entitled “I’m a millennial and my generation sucks,” published yesterday in the New York Post, will do little to disabuse you of that notion.

The New York Post must be feeling awfully proud of itself today. After devoting yesterday’s front cover to publicly shaming a homeless woman for keeping a fleet of shopping carts to hold her things, the paper has succeeded in getting the police to come and throw those things in the garbage. Great job, everyone.

The most important news of the day in New York City, according to America’s oldest continuously published daily newspaper: A homeless woman with a lot of shopping carts who hangs out in Hell’s Kitchen. Good to know!

“Everybody’s blowing off work to play golf,” The New York Post reports. Disgraceful. Golf is sooo dumb no offense.

Are you scared of homeless people? Subway dancers? Anyone poor enough to take the subway at all? Do dreams of squeegee men washing windshields with their own public urination keep you up at night? It’s time you ratcheted those fears up—how does “disorder and chaos unlike anything we’ve seen or imagined” strike your fancy?

This was how things worked, as Curtis Sliwa recalls it, back in the heyday of the Guardian Angels, from the late ’70s through the early ’90s: In one subway car, Sliwa might break up a fistfight, then move to the next car and find a domestic dispute in progress. In the following car, there might be a drug dealer pushing his product, and in the car after that, a group of young men openly drinking malt liquor 40s and smoking blunts.

Crime is down in the Modern Gomorrah, but not everyone has accepted it.

This week, former NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly implicitly accused his successor Bill Bratton of manipulating crime statistics to make New York City look safer. And if anyone knows about manipulating crime statistics, it’s former NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly.

On Wednesday night, hours after 14 people were killed in a shooting in San Bernardino, the Daily Beast found photos it thought were of the male shooter, Syed Farook, and posted them on their website and social media accounts.

Here are today’s front pages of New York City’s two tabloid newspapers. Which one is “better?”

The New York Post continues its vigorous defense of All Cops Everywhere from the extremely rude Quentin Tarantino, reporting today that the director never actually spent any time in jail, despite repeated claims over many years that he spent at least 8 days in Los Angeles County lockup for traffic tickets.

You may have heard of Hasna Ait Boulahcen, the woman who died in a raid carried about by French police in the days after the attacks in Paris. Or you might have seen her on the website of the Daily Mail, which said it obtained exclusive photos of her, or the New York Post, which dubbed her the “skanky suicide bomber” in a front-page story

Last week was all about Quentin Tarantino at the New York Post—with the number of articles about the Pulp Fiction director skyrocketing literally infinitely over the last year. After the staggering increase, New Yorkers of a certain age can’t help but be reminded of the last time it seemed like the maverick director appeared in the tabloid this regularly.

Killings in New York City have jumped 350 percent compared to this time last year, the New York Post claimed yesterday. It’s a classic Post argument: bloody, provocative, and utterly false when divorced from its own narrow and purposefully misleading premise.

“I look up and see Miley Cyrus on a video screen, marching in a raunchy, high-cut leotard. I figure if she can be half-naked in Times Square, then I can, too.” A New York Post reporter goes undercover, without cover, and makes the cover.

What does a grim news story of rape make you want think about? If you answered more rape!, you have a kindred spirit in New York Post editor and brutality fetishist Col Allan, whose paper’s front page today calls for the sexual violation of disgraced Subway pitchman Jared Fogle, who pleaded guilty to charges of child pornography possession and abuse of minors. “ENJOY A FOOT LONG IN JAIL,” the Post crows—a double entendre playing off the size of a large Subway sandwich, a product Fogle has endorsed, and the imagined length of a large penis, which the newspaper hopes will be used to penetrate Fogle’s body against his will while he is imprisoned.

Earlier this month, after a grand jury in Staten Island declined to prosecute the cop who placed an unarmed Staten Island father named Eric Garner in a chokehold, Mayor Bill de Blasio appeared on ABC’s This Week, where he mentioned having “the talk” with his 17-year-old son Dante when he was little.

Bob McManus, the bespectacled lump of Play-Doh above, wants you to know: What happened to Eric Garner was nobody's fault but his own.