From Craigslist today:

Blowjob for Hedge Fund Help - w4m - 23

I am 23 years old; I have a BS, I am attractive, intelligent, hard working, but unemployed. If you can help me with an entry level job at a top hedge fund, i will provide you with a discreet blowjob every now and then. I am not interested in charity work, nor am I a prostitute or looking for a boyfriend or a sugar daddy. I need to pay rent in the big city and I am interested in succeeding in the hedge fund universe. I will work hard to prove my worth, however I just need help getting my foot in the door. If you can help me, shoot me an e-mail with your Company name and your position. It is my intention to keep this on the DL.

We know little about hedge funds, but we're pretty sure of this: The ones who get ahead ain't the ones doing the sucking.

Blowjob for Hedge Fund Help