Guest post: Larry, Mari, Sergey, and Eri make their own Google gossip
Are the public faces of Google all wagging the dog by seeding their own gossip? One reader says the Google soap opera is scripted. But watch where you step in this sticky conspiracy theory — sprinkle some "sic"s and "alleged"s in there. Before the jump, the theorist gives the mounting evidence. After the jump, their theories.
Did a bit of math today and am willing to share anonymously:
1. Pre 2006:
a) circulating gossip pertaining Google execs
- Sergey Brin shares rides to work. Delivered by the matrimony quasi sister-in-law
- Larry Page made a printer out of Lego. At the age of 9.
b) juicy factoids pertaining Google execs not made public
- Larry Page dating Marissa Meyers
- the founders' harem of PAs (see flickr and comments around)
2. Come 2006:
1. The Larry Page, Marissa Meyer hot office affair former levels of collegiality finally revealed. By none other than the M&M herself.
2. Excruciatingly juicy details of said affair come to light: M&M used to time Larry Page with a metronome.
3. Few months within new relationship, new Larry Page girlfriend (if you have doubts: far right, with the bottle) splashed all over the tabloids.
4. Staged, but offending (for the parties involved) at the same time jet posing of Larry Page and exec girlfriend. Staged, but coy leaking of said pictures. Blamethrower aimed at other exec girlfriend. Oh, the drama!
5. Sergey Brin feeling slightly offended of all the attention directed to fellow co-founder. Larry Page offers a joint stunt - "We are getting married!" No, not to each other, although that might be an option, if the stocks dip low. As in "Hollywood aging star posing for Playboy" desperation.
6. Sergey Brin takes the wheel in his own two hands: mixes drugs, outrageous amounts of money, young cuties and sex in the same party-news. Comes out feeling sorry for himself. So, do we.
Few personal observations and unanswered questions:
- Eric Schmidt, the one who will most likely be pointed out as the sleazy one in a routine line-up including the founders, comes unscathed as a lamb. (I am not in any way suggesting that he is, simply implying that Sergey and Larry still have boyish charms.) Is that whole thing a personal vendetta? Was it Larry and Sergey who dug out Eric's personal data last year and tipped CNET, so that he needs to retaliate?
- Maybe the Google founders joined the super-exclusive, at_least_5_billions_net_worth, year 2K complacent, web 2.0 gossip-a-month club "Chez Hilton"?
- Or maybe, just maybe, gossip and celebrity rumors constituted the majority of searches on Google in the past years, so the Google's PR machine steered clear of the land of flowers, bunnies, shared car-rides and "don't be evil" lullabies?
- Is Valleywag arousing (compare number of comments on the gossipy news as opposed to regular ones) its own readership by throwing in sex and scandals. Amidst the serious journalism, that is.
Of, course I may be all wrong. It may as well be a terrible misunderstanding. But until proven wrong, am eagerly anticipating the next twists on the Google soap opera.