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• Campbell Brown, you naughty girl! The Today show interim co-host flashes her inexplicable ankle tat — no idea what that's supposed to be, but she really should've gone for a fairy or a dolphin. [Animal]
• "Management thought it was very important that Dan Abrams hire someone he wouldn't try to fuck." [FishbowlNY]
• Remember Friendster? Vaguely, even? They've been awarded a patent for their search methods and may be awarded another in the near future. MySpace pretends to shake in its enormous boots. [WSJ]
• Scarlett Johansson is becoming increasingly suspect of touching human petri dish Wilmer Valderrama. [HWoW]
• Who doesn't want to see John Stossel get slapped? [iFilm]
• Fall asleep to the sounds of Brooklyn hipsters and enjoy your inevitable nightmares on Bedford street. [BrooklynRadio]
• Palm Beach Police Chief thinks naughty financier Jeffrey Epstein is getting off easy (ba dum dum). [The Blotter]