A week after accidentally spamming a bunch of her MySpace friends, former Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubinstein has clambered back into the saddle—in order to tell Forbes readers how to use the internet effectively! Okay, our heads just exploded. Like, it's not that our favorite cat lady's 7 Tips for Joining Atoosa's Troops (Don't Put Your Brand On A Pedestal, Recruit Web Talent) are off-base at all. In fact, they're just as firstgrader-simple as the folk art that accompanies them. But what on earth qualifies Atoosa to dole out this kind of advice, her number of MySpace friends? Her thriving web-based business that, uh, still doesn't exist yet?

Actually, maybe it's her knack with an apt metaphor! On her time at Seventeen:

Don't get me wrong: It was nice being a "kept" woman. My corporate sugar daddy gave me a lot of cool things: a car and driver, a clothing allowance and a sick expense account. But I also had to pretend I was excited making love to an old man every night. It eventually became impossible to do over time—especially with all the fun stuff happening right outside our mansion. And remember that, will you? This is a fun time—have fun with your projects. Otherwise, no one will want to play with you.

Ok, for real this time: picking little pieces of exploded head up off the ground.

Atoosa's Digital Revolution [Forbes]