Craigslist User Wants Nothing More Than For You To Sit Back, Relax, And Enjoy 'Transformers'
We realize many of you would find it difficult to improve upon two-plus hours of watching Shia LaBeouf perfect his "whoa" face accompanied by top-notch visual effects, but at least one Craigslist user is seeking to enhance his moviegoing experience by bookending it with a little non-Transformers action. Since we here at Defamer would like nothing more than to pair a horny Michael Bay fan suffering from intimacy issues with their dream match, we thought we'd helpfully reproduce the ad (it's NSFW) after the jump:
Looking for someone to see the movie TRANSFORMERS with and to svc their cock with my hot soft mouth before the movie and again after the movie. If big enough and we click have you get off in my ass.YOU MUST HAVE A PLACE TO HOST. NO pic's wanted or given,me a little chubby 5'10" 225# ,have some facial hair will shave if you see and don't like.Not into kissing but you never know.call [number redacted] 24/7 I'm 6.5-7" ,would love 8" or more but will enjoy any size. If you enjoy me ,I will be available till morning of the 5th for mutual fun. Hiv-neg and clean,please be same. Any race OK,I have toys ask me what?
You must Host! Privacy a must!
As if that isn't tempting enough, if you come equipped with a suitably giant fucking robot, we see no reason why there there might not also be a third round of action during the movie itself, through the deployment of a strategically draped sweatshirt and cleverly modified popcorn bucket. And as the ad clearly states, you are welcome to ask in detail about which toys fill his collection, though you may find yourselves unfamiliar with a number of them—particularly Penetrator and Corkscrew, whose membership in either the Autobots or Decepticons we have yet to determine.
