What's going on with the Englewood, N.J. celeb weekly? Well! Staffers are leaving for Star, of all places, and In Touch keeps insisting that Brad and Angelina are on the rocks, despite all photographic and other evidence to the contrary. And... they're in New Jersey? Yeah. Today, Keith Kelly reported that two In Touch editors, Casey Brennan and Aaron Rasmussen, have fled to the welcoming arms of Star Mama Candace Trunzo—and now senior reporter Cristina Everett has left as well, to become a senior reporter. So in what known universe is Star considered actually a desirable place to work?

Well, the universe in which In Touch is even less desirable. Also, Star pays a lot, and has aggressively been going after every celebrity reporter in town, we hear. Eventually some of them are going to cave. Besides, snipes a staffer from a competing weekly, "In Touch and Star are on equal footing in terms of workplace misery. The only thing better about Star is the commute, so if you were stranded in Englewood, wouldn't you go?" That doesn't quite jibe with what we've heard about the rank-and-file at In Touch, who are reportedly a fine bunch. But those Germans who own the place... mmm. Not the best to work for!

Which brings us to the Brad and Angelina covers. This week's, for example, screams, "BRAD GIVES UP!" According to the mag, "Angelina is seeing her ex again. Brad realizes that he will never be enough for her." REALLY, In Touch? Everyone else seems to think they're doing just fine. Sure, Angelina looks like she might waste away, but as far as everyone else is concerned, she and Brad are solid. So WTF?

Anyway! If there are any out-of-work celebrity reporters out there, you might consider knocking on Bauer's door. We're sure they could use the help, now that they've basically been raided.

Star Hires [NYP]