Gilded, Naked Paris Hilton Hawks Bubbly-In-A-Can
In a bold return to the semi-controversial product endorsement activities of her infamous, burger-fellating past, the dependably quasi-outrageous Paris Hilton has traded the sickly green of her iconic, night-vision enhanced figure-modeling work for a glittering gold in an attempt to sell the product of a champagne-in-a-can concern Rich Prosecco.
The concept, as far as we can tell: Beset by an angry public finally fed up with her ubiquity and slathered head to toe in gilded paint symbolic of her privileged upbringing, Hilton is cast out into the Mojave desert, where only a shimmering, sparkling pool of Rich Prosecco sustains the rapidly dehydrating heiress until she can be rescued by a search party of Us Weekly, Page Six and InTouch editors distressed by her sudden disappearance from their pages. The campaign, we predict, will be an unqualified triumph, driving sales that quickly eclipse those of Sofia Coppola's passe line of canned alcoholic beverages.
