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Fired Connected Ventures founder Jakob Lodwick thought it would take a whole 300 or so words to humiliate his ex-girlfriend, Star editor-at-large and Mossberg-esque technology evangelist Julia Allison. All this because Lodwick and Allison's relationship — friends prefer to characterize it as a postmodern art project — went awry. But Jake, there was no need to go over a 100 words.

I try not to blog about Julia. I can't help it. I want nothing to do with her, but she:

  • calls or emails me
  • ignores that I told her she is a "psychopathic narcissist" who is "evil"
  • recently hired my brother to do video work for her
  • writes about me on her site
  • misrepresents her closeness to my friends
  • visits my old office and my old coworkers
  • emailed one of my ex-girlfriends
  • started attacking Tumblr

I have insulted and degraded her to no avail. She has no value. But every day Julia-related shit pops into my life.

"She has no value," he writes, eh? You know what that means ladies! Fella is totally on the market! Paging Tasha Maltby.