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With her name being dragged through Yankee Stadium's muddy infield, Madonna and family are doing their best to focus on work—husband Guy Ritchie hunched over Final Draft putting the finishing "Oi Oi"s on his lad-flick take on Sherlock Holmes, and she, jodhpurs-deep in rehearsals for her upcoming Sticky & Sweet Tour. (Not to be confused with Flavor Flav's Crispity & Crackily Tour.) But how, really, to top the mirror-tiled disco-crucifixion sequence from her last tour? By blowing herself up to several stories high and getting slutty with her most famous stunt-lesbian co-star, Britney Spears. From The Sun:

The pair's sexy shenanigans will be broadcast to the crowd on Madge's upcoming world tour via 20ft screens.

The pop duo will be wrapped in BANDAGES which will then be unravelled by leather thong-clad male dancers in scenes that would put even RUSSELL BRAND's moral compass in a spin.

"Britney and Madonna are unwrapped like mummies, to appear together almost naked apart from tiny leather bondage pants and knee-high boots.

"They then dance closely together, pressing their hands and bodies together.

More pop superstar mummification! We can't get enough. Still, nothing about the scenario suggests to us the kind of flagrant, "Yes I'm Getting Triple-Stuffed By Representatives of Every Major Religion!" taboo-breaking required to truly shock Madonna's jaded audiences. Clearly, the provocateur is going to have to up the ante, and enter the final frontier of Western taboos—cannibalism—by reshooting a sequence in which Britney devours little David Banda like a plate of cheesy fries as Madonna vogues helplessly in the background.