You're making a music video for Britney Spears, who has been committed to a psychiatric ward twice in the last two months. How to best open your video and grab the viewer's attention? Depict Spears jumping off a building! [YouTube]
That crazy guy who called 911 and said Heather Locklear was maybe about to commit suicide, even though Locklear later said everything was fine and the police left her alone? A doctor. And friend of Locklear's. [People]
A woman named Billy Jean is still claiming to be Michael Jackson's lover. She climbed over a fence to try to get into his house and was arrested. Breaking my heart, babe.
Paris Hilton attended her sister Nicky's fashion show, undermines her with reddest, most distracting lipstick in the world. [LA Times]
ER wants George Clooney back. Well, of course it does, and of course he hasn't committed. Noah Wyle signed on, though! [EW]
What? Rosie O'Donnell said on her blog, of Spitzer hooker Ashley Youmans, "I know her / I get it." She "knows her" knows her, or was O'Donnell just rying to make her poem rhyme? [Ask Ro]
O'Donnell also called Geraldino Ferraro, "Wonder Woman" and agreed she was a "BRILLIANT WOMAN" in the wake of Ferraro's comments that Barack Obama unfairly benefits from the cushy life of a black man in America.
Michael Jackson's brothers are somehow under the under the impression that heavily indebted Michael is going to help everyone acquire a country home in the English countryside. Yes. Tito is involved. [Sun]
Patrick Swayze is undergoing chemotherapy plus a new experimental drug, but can't quit smoking, even though smoking is linked to his type of cancer. [Sun]
